tina-taylor

Stop Worrying or You'll Make Yourself Ill

2012-01-17T02:46:00.000-08:00

Whilst I’ve been posting links regarding PNI (Psychoneuroimmunology) lots of people have been asking about it, mainly asking me what is, whilst some are wondering where it came from.

The name was thought up by Dr. Robert Ader, an experimental psychologist who conducted some of the original experiments in the field he named himself, psychoneuroimmunology.

His research begun in the 1970s and became the foundation for studies that have since mapped out the communications network among immune cells, hormones and neurotransmitters. He introduced a field of study that proved the science behind a notion that was once considered balmy:

 that meditation helps reduce arterial plaque;
 social bonds improve cancer survival;
 people under stress catch more colds; and
 that placebos work not only on the human mind but also human cells.

At the core of Dr. Ader’s research was an insight that was already obvious to any grandmother who had ever said, “Stop worrying or you’ll make yourself ill.” He managed to demonstrate scientifically that stress worsens illness and can trigger it; and that reducing stress is essential to good health.

That idea, now widely accepted among the medical profession, contradicted the previous principle of biochemistry, which said that the immune system was autonomous. In fact in 1985, the idea of a connection between the brain and the immune system was dismissed in an editorial in The New England Journal of Medicine as “folklore.”

And today there is not a physician in the country who does not accept the science Bob Ader set in motion, PNI - the study of how the nervous system affects the endocrine system which in turn affects the body.

PNI Two Day Course at Kingston upon Thames, London
www.aventesi.com for details

Fears and Anxieties

2012-01-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

Fear is part of our survival instinct, it sets our body and mind in motion in preparation for a perceived threat. Its hard wired into the sub conscious and is one of our oldest emotions; sometimes generated without any conscious awareness. We feel uneasy, yet don't know why. It makes us jump when something moves on the ground or touches us, makes us blink when something is coming towards our eyes. We respond due to sensory input driving us into action.

Fear makes you focus. There’s a moment of awareness, with our unconscious telling us something isn't right, and as we sense "something" we freeze. This freezing may stop predators from seeing us it also gives us a chance to evaluate the situation and if it is OK we continue - returning to what we were doing.

When in danger, the full flight mode signal is sent from the mind to the body; muscles become stronger and the heart beats faster, pupils dilate so we can see better as we think about our escape.

Then there is the moment of panic, when some people are overwhelmed with feelings with no direction or purpose, scared without knowing what to do or where to go. Heart beating faster, muscles stronger but unable to use our mind to plan a course of action.

Fear is all about chemicals, epinephrine and norepinephrine; epinephrine (adrenaline) is secreted by the adrenal glands. These chemicals are released in moments of fear to prepare us for the fight or flight response; and changes occur to improve chances of survival. As well as increased strength an increase in oxygen increases sensory acuity whilst non-survival process like digestion are put on hold.

Fears and phobias are extreme anxieties. As we go through life we learn a great many things by experience, things we are not even aware of. An unconscious learning, fear is one of these experiences and is a demonstration of how quickly we learn an automatic response.

From one experience the mind can generalise and attach fear. Then the flight or fight response kicks in. Your imagination is far more powerful than conscious will and the area of the brain that you use to imagine something is the same area that is used when experiencing things. Which is why your nervous system can’t tell the difference between a real or vividly imagined experience.

For an event to be coded as traumatic its said that four conditions need to be met. First it needs to be a emotional event; second, have a meaning for the individual; third, the chemicals need to be in place and fourth the experience is perceived as inescapable. If these are present it is possible that the brain will categorise the event as traumatic.

And yet there could be 2 people at the same event and one will be traumatised whilst the other will not. How can this happen?

Life is full of traumatic moments, in order for an event to be traumatising it must produce an emotional response. Meaning is attached to the event, and whereby one person may code something as traumatic another may not. A good example of this is those who are afraid of riding on roller coasters, they produce the four conditions in their mind and they know its scary and dangerous; whereas someone who loves roller coasters will have all the same conditions in place yet they love the thrill of the ride.

When afraid we panic, a panic attack is a sudden attack of terror usually accompanied by a pounding heart, feeling week, faint or dizzy. During these attacks people may also feel flushed or cold possibly becoming short of breath; some people experience chest pain and feel they are going to die.

People have looked for ways in which to help people overcome their fears and phobias for many many years. We have tried many different approaches from flooding (a rather extreme way of feeling the fear and doing it any way), desensitisation, Hypnosis, NLP, CBT, EMDR, TFT (or EFT a version of TFT) to name but a few.

The majority of my clients need help overcoming fears and anxieties, from the OCD who has numerous rituals to help them cope with their fears, to the bulimic who uses food to cope with theirs, to the business man who needs help making a presentation and the people who just want to be able to get on a plane. Fear seems to be present in a lot of peoples lives.

Steve Crabb and I have for many years successfully helped people overcome fears, phobias and anxieties. On February 25 & 26 at Kingston University we will be sharing our strategies with you.

Check out www.aventesi.com or call Sarah on 02085403366 for more details or to book your place.

Tis the Season

2011-12-15T09:31:00.000-08:00

When our thoughts turn to babies, well one particular baby who was born over 2000 years ago in a stable without any medical aid or assistance. It was hearing about things like this that originally had me thinking about the process of childbirth. When I was expecting my own child I refused to believe that something that we were designed to do should be as painful as some would like me to believe. What made human women different from the other female inhabitants of this world.

Most of the research for my book was completed nearly 30 years ago as I began to look at the history of childbirth. This journey took me way back in history to a time before the birth of Jesus where Greek Scholars such as Aristotle wrote about the miracle of birth and talked about using the power of the mind. Interestingly these scholars made no mention of pain. Both the Ancient Greeks and the Romans wrote about relaxed births.

Studies of documents written by the Greek scholars Hippocrates and Aristotle give no indication of any discomfort in childbirth, unless there was a problem. At that time if women needed assistance whilst in labour they were brought into a relaxed state, sometimes using herbs and potions, so that the problem could be dealt with. These ancient scholars believed that whilst women were giving birth their feelings should be accommodated and that mum needed people around to attend to her. Hippocrates was the first person to run childbirth classes for midwives. Both Hippocrates and Aristotle wrote that nature is the best physician and that it (nature) should be allowed to function without any interference. Aristotle wrote of a mind body connection during childbirth and emphasised the importance of a deep relaxed state.

Another Grecian scholar, Soranus, began putting the writings of Hippocrates and Aristotle into book form. His writing earned him the reputation of being the greatest obstetrical authority of the time. He stressed the importance of listening to the needs of the mother and suggested using the power of the mind to achieve the relaxed state needed for an easy birth.

So following in these auspicious footsteps my childbirth classes were born, teaching women what I believe is the way that we were intended to have our children. Naturally, listening to our bodies just as our ancestors did and probably just what a women called Mary did oh so long ago.

Seasons Greetings to one and all

www.tina-taylor.com

Tina’s book Painless Childbirth is available on Kindle and from Amazon

Remember to inoculate ……

2011-07-02T04:33:00.000-07:00

Just seen client I worked with about a month ago. A young man of 22 who graduated last year with a first and begun to feel anxious about his future. So much so that he stopped going out and socializing, stopped seeing his friends, in fact all he wanted to do was to stay with his parents as that was the only place he felt safe. This is a tall (6 foot 2), good looking young man who felt that the world was a too scarey place.

After a couple of meetings he was able to go out, and begun to look for work; we worked on his CV and prepared for interviews and he was excited about the future.

Then at a visit with his doctor (a family friend) he talked about his meetings with me and how I had helped him – his doctor talked him into seeing a counselor “just to be sure” everything was OK now. Interestingly, his dad who originally spoke to me didn’t want him to see a counselor as he said he felt I would be able to help him much quicker and easier.

Because of my conversation with dad I decided not to inoculate about what others may say …….

And after just one session with the counselor he told me that he felt much worse than he ever did. Now I must say that I do know some counselors who are very good at their work, but I’m not sure this one is.

So today we met again, inoculations firmly in place and he’s back on track looking forward to taking a holiday with some old friends he’s reconnected with.

www.tina-taylor.com

Hypnosis and Pain Control

2011-06-28T02:59:00.000-07:00

Over the centuries hypnosis has been viewed as a magical cure-all, and has a history of acceptance and rejection by the medical profession for over 200 years. Over the years many people have utilized hypnosis with great success and it has been reviewed many times over.

Friederich Anton Mesmer in the 18th Century, believed Mesmerism would hinder the development of disease and had some success in curing various illnesses as well as helping people with pain control. Then in 1834 and English surgeon John Elliotson reported on numerous operations performed painlessly using mesmerism.

In England around 1846, another surgeon James Braid revisited the phenomenon of Mesmerism and renamed it hypnosis, after the Greek god of sleep, Hypnos. He was the first person to attribute the phenomenon to psychological rather than physical variables and his findings brought a renewed interest in the subject. He had evidence on 345 major operations performed with hypnosis as the sole anesthetic.

In 1990, Evans investigated the possible ways in which hypnosis effectiveness varies according to the type of pain. He concluded that the style of hypnosis was important. For acute pain, he suggested hypnotic suggestions focusing on anxiety-reduction and emphasis on minimizing the importance of the pain; and for chronic pain, he suggested directly confronting the pain under hypnosis, dealing with both the pain's physical and psychological effects on the patient (Evans, 1990).

The American Psychology Associations examine of hypnosis for pain control came to the conclusion that hypnosis had a similar effect as the placebo effect; that the belief that the hypnotic suggestions can reduce pain had the effect of reducing pain.

The management of pain using hypnosis is in a strange position. Although hypnosis has been shown to be effective in many cases, it still tends to be overlooked. Hypnosis is an easy-to-administer procedure with no side effects, yet most doctors ignore its effectiveness in lieu of more traditional methods. Probably because no one really knows how it works, yet it still has merit.

Regardless of the various conclusions made over time, hypnosis has been shown to be a useful tool for pain management in many situations with some articles suggesting that hypnosis is one of the great misunderstood treatments of our time and hypnosis has been shown to be a relatively effective, safe, and inexpensive way in which patients can deal with their pain.

www.tina-taylor.com

Painless Childbirth

2011-03-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

Whenever I mention the possibility of painless childbirth and woman’s ability to achieve this herself without the use of drugs; so many people respond with comments along the lines of “but that’s what an epidural is for”.

I first began to look at childbirth in the 1980’s when I was pregnant with my daughter. I believed as I was only pregnant and this was a perfectly natural state to be in that it would be a relatively easy process. Then I read all these books telling me about what to expect and the various procedures that were at that time considered necessary during labour. I’m sure my doctor thought I was “difficult”; I remember going into hospital with a whole list of things that I had decided wouldn’t (and didn’t) happen. Happily today most of these are a thing of the past.

Whilst studying NLP and Hypnosis one of the things that intrigued me was the way that the mind creates our thoughts, beliefs and responses to situations, and I was drawn to the minds ability to control various sensations or our perception of sensations specifically the sensation labeled pain. How is it that we have different “pain thresholds”; and that one persons pain can be another’s pleasure. This question brought my attention back to childbirth and the fact that there are women in the world today that give birth within a few hours and then return to work with their babies swaddled to them. What is it that makes birth easy for some women and difficult for others?

During my research I found Dr Grantly Dick Read also had this question; he was a doctor at Whitechapel Hospital, East London, in the early 1900’s. One evening when he was called out to assist a woman in labour, he offered her chloroform, the only chemical pain control available at the time, which she refused. Afterwards when he congratulated her on her bravery she replied “it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t meant to was it Doctor?”

This comment spurred him onto investigate pain in childbirth; he found that this women wasn’t an isolated incident and that many women achieved what appeared to be a pain free birth experience. He begun to wonder about the differences between those who said they was in agony and those who had an easy time. Interestingly he said that women who had an easy time in childbirth “appeared to be in a trance like state”.

Intrigued by his findings, I went along to a few new baby coffee mornings with the National Childbirth Trust (NCT. During my research I found that Dr Grantly Dick Read inspired the creation of the NCT in its early days it was called the Natural Childbirth Association). New mums enjoy talking about their babies births and whenever I heard a woman telling a story of how easy it was I became very interested; and asked some questions. I wanted to find out what they did, what was their strategy in achieving an easy birth. And I found out that they all had similar stories to tell; they said things like “this sounds really strange but ……….there was a picture on the wall of my room and as the contractions got stronger I seemed to climb in the picture; or I remembered a place from my childhood/past and it was as if I was back there until it was time for baby to be born and suddenly I was back……….

Their descriptions reminded me of a kind of hypnosis known as deep trance phenomena and I begun to wonder if this was what we were supposed to do whilst in labour.

In 2001 a friend asked me to help her achieve natural childbirth she had a teenage daughter and was disappointed that her first birth hadn’t been a natural one. I met with her, her partner and her daughter, and we began to design what later became the blue print for my childbirth classes. I was honored to be asked to be present at the birth also, and so got to review the system first hand so to speak. The midwifery staff were all excited when I arrived at the hospital with my friend. You’re the hypnotist they said, we’re looking forward to seeing what you can do.

Over the years, these classes have evolved and now contain a combination of hypnosis, NLP and DHE™ all designed to teach the mum to be how they can enter a deeply relaxed state during childbirth to create their own phenomena. Many of my students have asked me during our classes whether they will actually be able to access that state during labour and they have contacted me afterwards to say how wonderful the whole process was for them and how they were able to relax and follow my instructions “just as I said they would”.

From the classes that I have taught over the years, I know that women can have a natural birth experience without fear, worry or discomfort. There is one side effects that seem to result from using hypnosis and NLP during pregnancy as you prepare for labour - the babies are very happy, contented and relaxed.

Painless Childbirth available from www.tina-taylor.com

The Pursuit of Happiness

2010-12-23T05:29:00.000-08:00

Well its that time of year – tis the season to be jolly! All those lovely movies on TV, scenes of happy families, caring and sharing…….. Christmas is the time of year when many people reflect on their lives, maybe they are comparing their family Christmases with those on TV.

Apparently in the 1940s people rates their level of happiness as 7.5 out of 10 and yet todays studies show that on average we rate our happiness as 7.2 out of 10. So with all the toys, entertainment etc that we have at our disposal we are less happy than in the 1940s. And yet so many people look for happiness in things. There must be something out there that will take away my bad mood, make me happy – if I could only be happy ……… Choosing drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating to name but a few as a way to try to achieve that happy feeling even if only for a while.

What is happiness?

In linguistic forms this is a nominalisation – a verb we have treated as a noun.

People spend a lot of time trying to get more happiness yet this is not something you can buy at the store, it comes form within. Some say it’s a frame of mind. Our choices do pay a large part in how we feel, and I’m not talking about whether you get those shoes in both colours.

The way in which we interpret our lives has a greater impact on our happiness than the events themselves. As William Shakespeare said “nothing is ever good or bad only thinking makes it so”.

Apparently on the Olympic podium the bronze medallist is happier than the silver. The silver is comparing themselves to the gold and thinking of what they have missed, whereas the bronze is comparing themselves to those who came after him and pleased with his success.

In the UK we have had the worst, coldest winter in decades, this has been a huge challenge to many businesses. I have been snowed in a couple of times, unable to make appointments, the internet down due to weather conditions. Now I could get really angry, be in a bad mood or accept this time as a chance to finalise some creative writing. The appointments have all been rearranged and I’m spending time writing in front of a warm fire, watching the snow outside of my window.

I can’t alter the weather but I can decide how I respond to it.

However you spend the holiday season, I wish you the ability to make the right choices that enable you to have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous new year.

www.tina-taylor.com

Scared on the Inside

2010-06-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

One of my clients came to see me because; she felt she had a scar on her mind……..

She is a petite size 10, well-dressed thirty something career woman who on the outside looks confident and in control of her life.

Apparently, all her life she had been fat, a size 24 at her heaviest. All through her life she had been bigger than anyone else, at home food equalled love. Her mother showed her children how much she loved them by feeding them. The more her mother fed her the better mother she was and the more she ate the more she was able to show her mother just how much she loved her.

She wore her weight as a defence, if you’re fat and unloved you’ll never get hurt was something she used to say.

At university she was the guys best friend and assumed that no one thought of her in a sexual way. She told herself she was fat and happy. Any boyfriends she had inevitably left her for thinner women – her words.

Then something happened in her early thirties, she lost her appetite and began to loose weight. Not because of any diet or any conscious will on her part; she became depressed because of unrequited love.

Initially she felt fabulous buying all those clothes she’d always wanted, one of the few moments in her life she had viewed her body with delight; then she began to hate herself because it took a bought of clinical depression for her to change her eating habits.

Men noticed her for her body instead of her personality, whilst initially this was fantastic she soon realised that although she had more sex; she wasn’t spending time with men she really wanted to be with.

She should have felt wonderful but her past hang over her, she still felt fat! She had assumed that once she had the body she wanted her life would be perfect – yet she was fat on the inside.

Maxwell Maltz an American cosmetic surgeon who developed Psycho-Cybernetics, said people were scared on the inside. That some of his clients no matter how much surgery they had, still felt ugly.

He started to work on their confidence and self esteem prior to surgery and found this worked in two ways, either they decided not to go ahead with the surgery or they were happier with the results.

Many years ago one of my clients, a young girl who wanted to loose weight, said after our session that she felt so fabulous about herself that she decided not to diet after all. A few months later I bumped into her in a local store, I didn’t recognise her at first as she looked so different; much more confident, happier and yes thinner!

www.tina-taylor.com

Just the weigh you are ..........

2010-02-01T08:15:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I assisted Paul McKenna in Birmingham on his I Can Make You Thin seminar, 1500 people mostly women all wanting to change the way they look.

So many people spend their whole life going from one diet to another. My cousin, looses weight, he goes to one of the weight loss clubs; then within a few months gains it all back again and some. Then joins (the same club) and goes through the whole program once more. He suffers, he moans (I sometimes think a man on a diet is much worse than a man with man flu), his stomach growing with hunger, and all he can think about is that he can have that four ounces of carrot juice but couldn’t get within twenty metres of a chip; and he accepts this agony as an inevitable part of losing weight.

Then you finally reached your goal – you even lost five extra pounds to give yourself some leeway. You thought you could stop your diet and eat “normally” so you do, and in a few weeks you gain all of that weight back again. This is a familiar, almost monotonous tale and it illustrates the most prevalent factor in unsuccessful weight reduction. The loss of pounds is not permanent when you reduce the food you eat without considering the reasons for the weight gain.

Most people if they manage to loose the weight on a diet will put the weight back on again, unless they completely change their relationship with food and change the way in which they eat.

Interestingly, at a time when we (in the UK) are aware of the effects of obesity and have had the benefit of education in what is best for our bodies and what diets are most suitable for many decades now, are at our most overweight. The overweight yo yo dieting, each time they fail moving on to the next diet looking for a miracle that will make them thin. Avoiding mirrors so that they can ignore the fat, hating themselves, thinking others must hate them too.

The main reason people get fat is because they ignore the signals received by their bodies, reconnecting with your body; listening to the signals it sends is the first step to achieving the perfect body for you. Working with your body.

And the not so overweight bombarded in the media with picture of models who are far too thin – many who don’t even look like that because they have been airbrushed. Looking at themselves in the mirror, hallucinating fat, hating themselves for being so unattractive. Ironic when just a few years ago the most beautiful women in the media was Marilyn Monroe, who was a size 16.

Some women who think they need to loose weight are chasing an image that they think they need to succeed in today’s culture and yet diets don’t make you beautiful, glamour is a look not a size.

Learning to love and accept yourself is the beginning to improved self confidence, better health, and a sense of well being that will lead you to a much better life and the motivation to make those changes in your life style that will give you the weight loss you are seeking.

www.tina-taylor.com

What is PNI

2010-01-20T04:00:00.000-08:00

Psychoneuroimmunology explores how our psychological conditions and neurological processes effect our immune system. How our thoughts and beliefs can affect our health.

Centuries ago it was believed that when we became ill that we had a dis-ease of the mind and at that time apothecaries dealt with the four humours of the body; believing that once they had everything in balance that the body would heal. With the advent of allopathic medicine this kind of practice died out, which for many people was a god send as the apothecaries of the time were believed to have killed as many of their patients as they “healed” with their methods of purging and blood letting to get the bad humours out of the body.

The Chinese, for centuries, have believed that disease takes place when there is disharmony in an organ or within an organs system. They say that this affects the flow of Qi; the energy flow through the meridians of the body. Eastern healers look for a reason why the Qi is blocked; looking to diagnose the nature of the disharmony so that they can then correct the imbalance so that the Qi can flow freely again and the individual can heal.

Roger Callahan, creator of TFT, has noticed that when people are ill they suffer from a reversal of the flow of energy within the meridians. He noticed this whilst his wife was having chemotherapy that whilst she felt the affects of the drug in her system that her energy flow was blocked and that by working with her to get the energy flowing freely she felt no effects from her chemo. How do you test your flow of energy I hear you ask; thats one of the questions I will answer and demonstrate on our PNI course on March 13th.

Since the 1980’s we have begun to look at how our brain and immune system interact with each other. It is now readily accepted that stress and emotional responses change the chemical levels in the blood stream that in turn effect the efficient functioning of the immune system; supporting the concept of a direct relationship in between our central nervous system and our immune system. For example; it is now believed that some cancers can be triggered by extreme stress.

Over many years of being a hypnotherapist I have noticed how my clients come to see me for one problem and by helping them overcome this their health improves; how can this happen?

A few of my clients who have come to see me for help conceiving using IVF, as they have been told that they will never be able to conceive naturally due to medical problems, have conceived naturally and their medical problems have cleared up as we have dealt with the issues they had around parenthood and pregnancy.

Medical science has provided us with various cures for illnesses that at one time were incurable; and throughout the history of medical research we have also discovered factors such as the placebo effect. People being given what was probably basically sugar pills and being told that they were a super drug that would heal them and they heal. Against all odds their disease goes away.

Back in 1994 Barbara Stepp attended a workshop run by Richard Bandler; Richard was demonstrating his “beautification” technique and choose Barbara as one of his demo subjects. What Richard didn’t know at this point was that Barbara had cancer; and to both their surprise her cancer went away. What do we mean when we say things like the cancer went away? We all have cancer cells within our bodies , we actually need some to stay healthy so we obviously have a way of keeping those cells at the right level.

How do we do this?

On March 13th at Kingston University I will be running a one day workshop where we will explore PNI and various methods of healing and how to harness the power of your unconscious.

www.tina-taylor.com

Anger

2009-12-31T04:20:00.000-08:00

Learning to deal with our emotions rather than bottling them up is essential to our wellbeing and our ability to create relationships; but how exactly do we do that?
It is thought by psychologists that staying quiet while seething inside can lead to chronic stress, depression, low self esteem and possibly physical illness. And yet it is considered impolite to let people know how we feel, to keep our thoughts and emotions hidden inside is what we are taught to do from a very early age. Whats the best way to get rid of these negative feelings?

Maybe we should count to 10, remove ourselves from the situation and take a few deep breaths. Thats one way that will help you to calm down; taking deep slow breaths can slow down your heart rate. So many of my clients have said that only helps for a while, that is until “those thoughts come back”.

There is also a train of thought that thinks its healthier to let is all out by shouting, screaming or even smashing things. A few years back there was a train of thought that one way to get rid of peoples anger was for them to hit things – this was usually a pillow. The angry person would take a bat or stick and repeatedly hit something whilst thinking of their anger.

There is even a place in San Diego (www.smashshack.com) whereby you can go and pay for the privilege of being able to smash things. Its proving so popular in the US that we in the UK will be able to try out this way of venting our spleen very soon.
Googles and a safety suit are provided (we must remember health and safety whilst being angry) and a padded room whereby people can then smash crockery and glasses etc; they can even bring their own stuff if they so wish.

Studies have found that these kinds of techniques can actually make people even more angry and aggressive than before. The more they practice being angry the better they get at it ................

Anger like all emotions is there for a specific reason and is a signal for us to take action possibly change something and communicate to others that something isn’t right.

The old fashioned English way of keeping a stiff upper lip may even be damaging for peoples career according to research done by Harvard. This project tracked the lives of more than 800 people for the past 44 years and found that those who dealt with their anger were more likely to be happy in their life and career and enjoy closer physical and emotional intimacy whereas those who suppressed their feelings were more likely to have disappointment work and person lives.

So how can we deal with anger in an appropriate way?

Exercise is one way as the exertion will reduce adrenalin and any aggression whilst giving you time to think and calm down.

Another way of helping people deal with aggression and anger is to ascertain their strategy, what is it that they are doing in their head that makes them feel this way and teach them how they can change the way they are feeling, responding to situations that will allow them to let go of any aggressive angry thoughts; in turn giving them the ability to decide what needs to change to enable them to improve their physical and emotional wellbeing.

www.tina-taylor.com

I Love My Job

2009-12-11T07:03:00.000-08:00

When I first started my private practice I considered a number of things – marketing, fee structure, where to work, building up my skills amongst others. One thing I hadn’t considered was working with children; and yet children are probably the best clients you can have.

They have no preconceived ideas as to how things work; if you ask them about the pictures they have in their head or the voices they hear – they will tell you. If you ask them to tell you about the feeling they have, they are very happy to explain. They can tell you about all these things in the smallest of details. They don’t want to tell you any details of their fears or worries and are extremely happy to work content free.

Many years ago my first young client was a girl of 7 whose big brother had let her watch the Exorcist whilst he was babysitting! If you haven’t seen the movie, there are scenes in it that I (who have seen many things and isn’t squeamish) don’t like very much so you can imagine how it could affect a young girl. When she came to see me she had stopped talking to anyone, wouldn’t eat very much and would only go to sleep if her mother cuddled her.

To her mothers surprise after just a few moments, she was able to speak; her mother said it was like magic. What did I do? I told her that I would take the fear away and lock it in my filing cabinet and proceeded to do just that. Her first words in weeks were “you wont let it out will you”.

She was fine until she got home and her father said “you’d better be careful it doesn’t come back”. Great thanks dad!

When mum brought her back to me the next week, she said its not the same fear and I showed her how she could shrink down the pictures in her mind. But she didn’t want to keep them in her head so she would put them into envelopes and post them to me. Writing on the outside “Do Not Open Fear Inside”.

Just a few months ago a mother brought her 12 year old son to see me a very quiet nervous looking boy, who just sat and looked at me. He didn’t want to go to school, and each morning when they arrived at the school gates he had a panic attack. Apparently this started at his previous school and mum changed schools for him as the teachers in his previous school said he was stupid and slow. This lovely young man had been labelled dyslexic and his parents were trying to find some way to help him learn so that he could pass exams and succeed in life.

He thought he was stupid and was worried that he wouldn’t be able to do any of the things that was needed; he had been to counsellors before and they hadn’t helped at all.

He didn’t think about school when he wasn’t there, got ready in the morning OK, got in the car and it was only at the gate that he became scared. He said he had a huge picture of his teacher (who he didn’t like cos she thought he was stupid too!) in his head and all he could think about was this women who didn’t like him. I showed him how he could shrink her and push the picture away, and they suddenly he laughed, there was a sparkle in his eyes. “Can I give her a donkeys head?” he asked. Sure I replied and he put her in his pocket.

“Can I do this with the other thoughts I have?” he asked.

I told him of course he could and he proceeded to sort out his thoughts. Till he came to a feeling he couldn’t budge and I showed him how to get rid of that, and change the voice in his head. Then we went on to look at spelling strategies .....
His mum was so pleased that he now goes to school easily, and is much happier apparently he is starting a “Worry Club” for others at his school so that he can help other children change their bad feelings; and he’s asking when can he do his NLP Practitioner training ..............

Please note that anyone working with young persons or vulnerable adults may need to have a CRB (Criminal Record Bureau) check; this is essential if you are working alone with the young person. In the absence of this check you will need a parent or guardian with you at all times. Contact the CRB call centre on 0870 90 90 844 for a form.

www.tina-taylor.com

Christmas is coming .......

2009-11-27T09:17:00.000-08:00

Christmas is coming the geese are getting fat please put a penny in the old mans hat .................

There are so many responses to those words. I love Christmas, always have. Buying presents for people I care for, looking forward to spending days with loved ones, friends coming over, visiting, cooking, entertaining ........... parties.

My mother hated Christmas – buying presents, having the family under her feet (her words), visiting, visitors, cooking etc etc etc.

Whereas I view Christmas as a time for being jolly, having fun with friends and family all she thought of was the trouble it put her too and how much work it brought her.

Christmas is a time where so many people feel lonely, depressed, worn out, stressed – far too much to do and far too little time or resources. Many people do not have the model family and there are step brothers, sisters, parents too. All this can change your view of this time, as some people being to think about the problems; especially when there are all those lovely seasonal movies on TV showing how wonderful Christmas with the family is making people believe just how wonderful everyone else is feeling....................

This is a time when so many of my clients turn to “false friends” to change the way they feel – alcohol, tobacco and drugs. Then there are the Christmas Parties! Each year I am astounded at the effect of the Christmas Spirit – instead of just a few drinks to become merry so many people seem hell bent on oblivion. I’m not just talking about “youngsters” but people of all ages, in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and beyond. Suddenly otherwise sane individuals feel compelled to make such utter fools of themselves.

Coming down with a bump in January! Feeling below par after over indulging in food, alcohol, cigarettes and far too many late nights.

Over the years I have taught my clients strategies, techniques, that help them to copy with this crazy time of year; and for those who go wild through the festive season and call me in January deciding they need to STOP the craziness and keep their new years resolutions its not long before they are back on track.

For now the Christmas Cards have been written and are ready to be sent, and I’m enjoying the Christmas preparations and looking forward to the holiday season.

www.tina-taylor.com

Imagination

2009-09-10T04:47:00.001-07:00

I collected my grandson from school yesterday, he is 5 ½, he and his friend were playing in the trees just outside the school, a small area of about a dozen trees with some bushes and undergrowth. They were having a fabulous time, they found some sticks and were using these to push their way through the branches. After a while a few others arrived, “what are you doing?” they said. Exploring a jungle was the reply.

When we got home, he asked if he could come up to my office with me so that he could do his work. I sat at my computer answering emails, booking appointments in my diary and designing a seminar whilst he sat at another desk in my office with my notepad pc and practiced his alphabet; ever so often asking me how to spell something. The little boy who lives next door was calling to him across the fence and he replied “I can’t come and play I’m busy working with Tina”.

A childs imagination is wonderful. I remember Richard Bandler telling a story about finding toy soldiers in pot plants in his house where his son had created another universe with his toys.

Our imagination can be used for many things some of them just as wonderful as the games created by children at play; and sometimes our imagination creates bad feelings, fears and anxieties.

I spoke to a 16 year old girl the other day whose diet was extremely limited. She lived off bread, potatoes, chocolate (funny but chocolate always seems to be OK), diary produce (milk, cheese, butter), chicken and fish. She didn’t eat vegetables or fruit – she could eat tomato ketchup (thats another that seems to get through peoples filters), creamed tomato soup and orange juice.

Her GP sent her to a dietician who told her what she should be eating ..........

She knows what she should be eating, but she doesn’t want to. Ever since she was a very small child she has had a problem with her food. Apparently as a toddler she nearly choked on something and from here decided that certain foods should never be eaten. She wont eat anything with lumps for example, and the food that she does eat she chews for ages before swallowing – this means that each meal takes an age.

When I asked her if she had eaten any soft fruits, I was surprised to find out that apparently raspberries had huge pips which made them difficult to eat. I hadn’t noticed.

On looking for something that she would be happy to eat at the end of our session, I suggested grapes but apparently eating a grape was like eating a blister. YUCK I thought that would definitely put me off. I then discovered her strategy for avoiding food, each food had a disgusting association attached to it. Her imagination had run wild for years stopping her from eating many foods.

A lot of people problems are caused by what they are imagining in their head, and all they have to do is imagine something different to change their feelings. Ah yes but how do they do that you may wonder.

Well thats a story for another day ............

www.tina-taylor.com

Can Hypnosis increase fertility?

2009-08-31T04:13:00.000-07:00

I am often asked about my work with couples to help them conceive; some asking about the process wanting to know how this can help them whilst others sceptically questioning the effectiveness of hypnosis. How can helping people to relax help them to get pregnant?

It is estimated that one in seven couples in the UK have difficulty conceiving, what does this mean? A fast number of these people have unexplained infertility, in other words there are no medical reasons why they haven’t conceived.

There are a vast number of potential causes that can hinder conception, ranging from physical to emotional and psychological barriers.

A diagnosis of infertility, whether explained or not, leaves the recipient of the diagnosis feeling disappointed and some feel there is no hope. More so if the diagnosis is unexplained. My clients tell me that if there was some medical explanation it would be easier to tackle than to be told that they have to relax and wait for nature to take its course.

Does this diagnosis mean the end of a dream? Or are there things that you can do to increase your fertility and to become a parent?

Many of my clients have been trying to become pregnant for many years, and have begun to wonder if they will ever have a family of their own. Some have spent thousands upon thousands of pounds on various medical treatments, drugs, IUI, GIFT and IVF without success. Some have waited to start their families only to discover that it is taking longer than anticipated to become pregnant.

Regardless as to their diagnosis they all found that the process of conceiving was highly emotional and stressful, many became depressed at the prospect of remaining childless.

Unfortunately, stress and depression can also reduce fertility levels. Stress and depression causes changes in the body’s biochemistry and upsets the body’s natural balance. Many of these women found themselves in a catch 22 situation; worried and anxious about not conceiving and then being told they had to relax.

Over ten years ago, just as I was beginning my studies of NLP and Hypnosis I discovered that one of my cousins was having difficulties conceiving. She had spent years having various tests and operations to improve her “chances” to conceive, these didn’t work and she was eventually told she would never conceive naturally and begun to think of IVF.

There was a problem here too, as she was afraid of some of the procedures and this was when I found out about her problems. She knew all about my studies and asked my advice. It was very clear from our discussions that the major blockage at that time was her fear of the process, and as we talked she began to tell me about other “silly worries” she had too. During our discussions we worked on the various issues that she voiced and she made the arrangements for the IVF cycle to begin. Only she never made those appointments as shortly after our meeting she became pregnant naturally.

Hypnosis can help increase fertility by reducing stress, relieving anxiety, lifting depression whilst enabling clients to deal with the many situations they face through this time. Also learning NLP and Hypnosis techniques allows them to take back in control of their lives.

Interestingly, I have found that by helping my clients deal with their limiting beliefs, fears and anxieties surrounding conception many women who had thought the only way they would conceive was through medical assistance, conceived naturally just like my cousin.

www.tina-taylor.com

Be Happy

2009-07-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

Be Happy
Did you know a five year old laughs on average 400 times per day, whereas an
adult laughs around 15 times per day?
What happens as we grow into adulthood?

How is it that so many adults loose the ability to have that inner feeling of happiness children feel? Remember the excitement you felt as a child? My grandson gets so excited when he hears the song played by the ice cream van. Or maybe the excitement you felt just before your birthday, waking up an "the day" looking out for the postman. How wonderful it felt on the last day of school, just before the summer break - all those weeks ahead just playing and having fun.
How can you tap into those feelings of happiness?
Adulthood brings many responsibilities and at the same time gives us freedom. freedom to choose how we want to live. So how is it that so many adults say they are unhappy? Stressed? So many people are taking prescribed medications for depression, anxiety, panic attacks and sleeping problems, how can we find a way back to that those feeling of happiness we had.
The way we think creates how we feel.
Feelings can't just happen, we need to create them and we do this with our thoughts.
My clients are often amazed that by identifying the thought process that creates them to feel depressed, anxious, fearful; and then charging this their feelings charge. By changing your thoughts you change your emotions. We can change the way that we perceive situations and this will help us to achieve a better frame of mind
I remember on my NLP Practitioner course feeling so amazed that I could actually control the way that I responded to things could be changed by using the principles and techniques of NLP. I had been given the users manual to my brain.

What is it that adults do of have forgotten to do?

Our thoughts are creative, most adults focus on the negative, the “what ifs” than focussing on what they can do. Children take each moment, enjoying the simplest of pleasures - enjoying he people around them, the moment.

By taking control of your neurology, you thoughts, you too can get rid of any negativity and begin to create a happier more fulfilling life.

Psycho-cybernetics

2009-07-08T04:42:00.001-07:00

The world has been mourning Michael Jackson, an amazing musician and performer who sadly died recently at only 50 years of age. Theres been a lot of controversy in his short life about many things, not least the amount of plastic surgery he underwent. He never seemed happy with his looks and it has been said how he thought he was ugly. All this turned my thoughts to Maxwell Maltz.

Maxwell Maltz was a highly regarded plastic surgeon who noticed that with the surgery that he did some people were completely transformed. Changing their bodies changed their personality. Once they had the plastic surgery they became the person they wanted to be, whilst others, no matter how much surgery they had never seemed to “find their true selves”. No matter how much they reconstructed their physical image it was not necessarily the key to their happiness, something else was needed.

Once this something else was reconstructed the person changed, inside. He said it was as if personality had a face, and this non physical face was the key to personality changes. He believed self image is the key to human personality, change the self image and you change the personality and behaviour. Self image defines what you can and cannot do, so if you expand your self-image you expand the area of possibility.

Successful men and women have for years used mental pictures and rehearsal; practice to achieve success. For example Napoleon practiced his soldiering in his imagination for many years before he went on to fight any battles. Positive visualisation can change your self image; Maxwell Maltz believed before you can change you must see yourself in the new role.

Using positive visualisation to picture the desired result literally forces you into positive thinking. This exercise can help you achieve your best possible self; by forming a picture in your imagination of the self you want to be and see yourself in the new role.

In San Francisco two psychologists with the Veterans Administration reported on an experiment; whereby mental patients were asked to answer questions as if they were a typical well adjusted person. In order to answer the questions as a typical well adjusted person would answer they had to imagine how a typical well adjusted person would act. They had to imagine themselves in the role of a well adjusted person and this in itself was enough to cause them to begin acting as ……………. And feeling like ……………………

About Time

2009-07-07T17:51:00.000-07:00

Having just flown across the Atlantic time has been on my mind, time doesn’t really exist and yet we act as if its a commodity – Im sure there’s a name for something like that.

People complain about;

“running out of time”

“theres never enough time”

“I need more time”

For years people look for more time then just when they think they will have the time they crave suddenly they have time on their hands .............

Sitting on the plan having forgotten to pack my iPod, my entertainment system not working and of course due to that wonderful earthy law; there were actually a few movies I wanted to see! Fidgeting in my seat, checking my watch for the umpteenth time - I suddenly realised I had lost control of time. Each minute dragged by like an hour.

Now I know that every single one of you has gone through experiences of time distortion like this. Waiting in a queue at the bank the person in front of you hands over a bag of coins and they begin to count them. Time seems to stand still you feel as if you have been waiting for hours, look at your watch and only a few moments have gone by.

And times when you are having so much fun, those times you want to hold onto forever, just fly by. And when you have been driving on the motorway at speed when you pull off and slow down it feels as f you are crawling along so very slowly when you are actually moving at 40 mph.

Time cant change just your perception changes depending on the state you are in.

Within NLP one of the most basic skills we learn is how to control our state. One of the basic presuppositions being that we have being that we have all the resources within us.
As well as learning how the way that we perceive something depends on the frame in which we place it.

So how to get back control of time.

I reviewed my state. It wasn’t a useful one focussing on the entertainment system, moaning to myself about how there was nothing to do, how uncomfortable I was, tired, fed up ....................

The first thing I changed was my state. I thought about my destination. I was flying to Orlando to be a support trainer for Richard Bandler and John La Valle’s summer program. I also had some me time planned for retail therapy, relaxing in the sun and chilling with friends.

I made some plans thinking about what was to come. Ensuring my thoughts were full of all the fabulous things I wanted to do. Big bright colourful plans including all representational systems, sounds of music, voices; creating wonderful feelings of anticipation; fragrances and tastes of local delicacies all filled my mind.

OK now my state was different.

Then I focussed on other times I had flown and how amazed I was at just how quickly I arrived at my destination.

Feeling much more in control I decided to close my eyes for a moment and then we were coming in to land.

How time had flown.

Health and Wellbeing

2009-05-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

Just recently I’ve seen on the internet various postings from people looking for help for loved ones who have a chronic illness. Through my studies years ago I came across Bernie Siegel and his book Love Medicine and Miracles. Bernie was interested to discover why people who he thought would die (he was an oncologist) lived whilst others who he thought would live died.

There’s been a lot of press coverage over the past few months with Jade Goody dying from Cancer, Patrick Swayze and also Farah Fawcett too now also have terminal cancer.

What constitutes good health and how do we ensure that we are healthy and if we do get sick how do we heal ourselves.

Websters Dictionary defines health as “the condition of being sound in body, mind or spirit; especially the state of being free from physical disease.....”

Medical science has provided us with various cures for illnesses that at one time were incurable; and throughout the history of medical research we have also discovered factors such as the placebo effect. People being given what was probably basically sugar pills and being told that they were a super drug that would heal them and they heal. Against all odds their disease goes away.

Various alternative health practitioners suggest that to be healthy we need to maintain the harmony between the body and mind and between ourselves and the world that we inhabit. To create a total ecology may necessitate an adjustment in other parts of our lives to stay balanced.

Health and healing often involve addressing several levels of change with beliefs being one of the most important and influential levels. If someone doesn’t believe that they will heal or become well that person can become apathetic and not take full advantage of the resources that are available to them. Whilst as demonstrated with the placebo effect if a person believes that something will help them they activate many conscious processes that contribute to their wellness.

Bernie Siegel found that those people given the life challenging diagnosis who decided there was nothing for them to do (even though their cancer may have been treatable) died. Whereby those who decided that there were too many things they were yet to do in their lives, those who began to make plans about what there were to do next with their lives – lived.

The Power to Influence

2009-04-25T04:15:00.000-07:00

Over the years I have had a number of career moves although one main theme throughout has been my ability to “get on with” people. Today that would be classified as my being able to get into rapport with people.

Prior to setting up my own businesses I worked in Human Resources sector, in Golf Club Management and as a Police Officer in Londons Metropolitan Police Force. It was as a Police Officer working in Londons East End that I became aware of a skill that was vital to my success, and safety. When I realised that I had to become a master of influence no matter what it took!

This skill has transferred over into every aspect of my life and has been utilised in each career move and interaction. When I did my NLP Practitioner over 10 years ago I was able to indentify how I managed to influence and also to improve on those skills.

Some of you may now be thinking I knew NLP was manipulative.

Yet aren’t we trying to influence, manipulate, with each of our communications?

• When meeting people for the first time, your goal is to get them to like you isn’t it?

• When applying for a job don’t you want to get them to employ you over everyone else?

• As parents aren’t we teaching our children good values so that they won’t be encouraged by negative influences they may be exposed to?

• As Coaches and Practitioners isn’t the goal to help your client achieve their best?

The ability to influence is the key whether you are selling an idea to your friends or a project to one of your clients.

How do we improve our skills to influence?

I have noticed over the years that age old expression that we get what we focus on or in the words of Henry Ford “If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right”;is actually right.

So the first thing to do to improve your skills to influence is to believe that you can. Once you have this belief then you will find a way, and your actions will lead to your success.

You believed you could, then you planned how, you took action confident of the result that you would get. Maybe you didn’t get their straight away, but that was OK because you knew you would so you continued adjusting using the information you gleaned from those first mistakes until you succeeded.
The person who believes in themselves is most likely to take action, and is most likely to develop the skills needed to get the result that they want.

What do you get when you give your full attention?

2009-03-31T06:21:00.000-07:00

I’ve been watching my grandchildren – well actually my grandson who is nearly 5 and how he gets the attention of those around him. Those of you who are parents will probably identify with this. First of all he says “mum ...........”, my daughter who also has a 14 months old is doing what a lot of mums do in relying on the older child to do for himself where he can. Second “MUM ......” this time louder, which may or may not get a response depending mainly on whether the baby needs attention. From here he shouts angrily and gets told off for shouting.

Its said the most powerful thing you can give a child is your attention and in todays society there is something about having someone focus their full attention on you. The next time you are talking to someone give them your full attention and notice the difference in their response.

Some people “listen” whilst waiting for their turn to speak, thinking about what they will say in response, but when you give your full attention to the other person its different. Its also much easier to notice their words, tonality, gestures, eye movements when your full attention is on the other person. I also find that by entering my communicating state, giving my full attention, connecting with the other person making the whole process of rapport, pacing and then leading the communication to a successful conclusion much easier.

When children have your full attention, they too are much easier to influence and far better behaved. Just taking a few minutes to give your full attention and really listen can give you so much more in return ......................

Changing Minds

2009-03-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

When I saw the movie Rainman I didn’t know anything about autism and was intrigued with the “skills” that Raymond had demonstrated in the movie. Fascinating to think that there are people who appear to be mentally challenged and yet these same people have a spark of genius hidden deep inside. This movie had me thinking ........

The human mind is a miracle, there are intricate webs of light inside your mind that shape who you are and your understanding of the world. All through our lives the brain works to make sense of our experiences, thoughts, feelings, memories and ideas. It does so much and yet so much of the way our mind works remains a mystery.

It is said our mind is the greatest computer capable of much more than we realise, and so much more than we ask of it.

What happens when we think? Where do thoughts come from?

My brain is not the same as it was 10 or 20 years ago. There is an ongoing process of change that begins from conception from the very beginning of life and continues throughout your life time.

The brain of a foetus produces twice as many nerve cells as it will need and the excess cells dissolve through pregnancy. After the birth babys brain begin creating neural pathways – making connections that enable baby to see, hear, smell, think and learn. As baby begins to experience his/her world the programming begins. With each new experience the brain begins to adjust and create new connections.

During adolescence there are many many more changes as the cells in the frontal lobe (where we process emotions, judgements & impulses) grows and just before puberty too! This continues well into our early 20’s and probably explains all those mood swings teenagers have as they are literally changing their minds.

In a study whereby a group of adults and teenagers were asked to identify an emotion from photographs of people with various facial expressions. The adults did well but many of the teenagers got it wrong. The participants brains were scanned whilst they took the test. The teenagers used a different area of their brains, they used the amygdala – the areas of the bran used to access raw emotions and “gut” instinct whereas the adults used their frontal lobes and were better able to identify the emotions shown.

As parents of teenagers you may wonder why at times it appears that your teenage son or daughter just doesn’t comprehend what you saying, its almost as if you are talking to Rainman at these times it may help you to think of the changes going on in their minds.

Allergies are like a Tantrum of the Immune System

2009-02-10T05:10:00.000-08:00

There have been a few questions recently on forums regarding the use of NLP to cure allergies, specifically hay fever. I can only assume that the fact that spring is fast approaching people are beginning to think about what lies ahead ........

Immunologist, Mr Michael Levi, says an allergy is like a phobia of the immune system. In the 1950s Dr Levi won the WHA award for his research, after many years studying the immune system he says that when a person develops an allergy, its because the immune system has in essence formed a kind of phobic response to that particular substance. Assuming that something that is harmless (ie pollen) is harmful and that the allergic response is in fact the immune system going into panic.

Like a phobia an allergy is a conditioned response, research has shown that allergies can be conditioned in guinea pigs using a procedure similar to that used by Pavlov when he was working with his doges. After a while all the guinea pigs had an allergic reaction installed within them to a perfectly harmless substance.

Following on from Dr Levi’s suggestion that an allergy was like a phobia, Robert Dilts reviewed the fast phobia cure and created a technique has some similarities to the fast phobia cure.

As hay fever season is just a few months away I thought I’d post this technique for you to experiment with.

1. First you access the allergic state, associating into the experience so that you get some of the discomfort associated with the allergy. Once in this state explore what sub-modalities intensify and de-intensify the reaction.

2. Establish a dissociated state. When doing this I ask my client to close their eyes and imagine a glass shield between yourself and the substance that has triggered the allergic response. Floating up and out of that response, watching yourself as if on a TV screen ........... When you have the dissociated state anchor it.

3. Establish a desired state – how do they want to be respond around the substance. Anchor.

4. If there has ever been a time when they have been able to be near the substance comfortably, access that state and anchor – stack onto the other positive anchor.

5. Have person imagine being near substance whilst you fire off positive anchors.

6. Test by bringing a small amount (initially) of substance and fire off positive anchors.

Is it x, or is it Y, or is it ME?

2009-02-06T03:36:00.000-08:00

The question I am asked most frequently usually begins with, “I have a client with x and I have tried y and it didn’t work, I don’t know what to do now, I’ve tried the “name of technique” and the client is just stuck, what do you suggest my next move is!?”

Frequently, my first reply is based on something I learned during my Practitioner and Master Practitioner courses, Richard Bandler said: “there is no such thing as a resistant client”.

As NLP Practitioners we all know that our state drives our success. When you become stuck, consider checking that you have the most beneficial state to work with your client. Is your inner dialogue yelling “Its not working, its not working”, or something equally unhelpful. Are you making pictures of failed outcomes, or allowing yourself to sink into a feeling of despair or panic? Remember, “go there first, get your own state under control”.

Now, have you really heard what your client said?

Do you know what they want, what is their desired state, what will be different as a result of achieving this desired state?

Does your client understand what is being asked of them?

Whilst viewing sessions conducted by newly qualified practitioners I have witnessed a complete lack of understanding between Practitioner and client; when the practitioner says something like “I’m just going to anchor that for you”, are you surprised that your client wonders if they’re seeing your for therapy or about to embark on a cruise? Keep your explanations simple.

These are just a few pointers that may help, should you find yourself wondering, “what do I do now?”

Stop It...........

2009-02-01T06:10:00.001-08:00

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE

"Take a look at this clip of Bob Newhart from You Tube, it really made me laugh.

When my laughter had subsided, I reflected on the number therapists out there who believe they can offer 'a cure for all problems', and are determined to use a particular technique, whether it is working or not. I do hope, unlike Bob, they eventually 'make change' for their clients, or at the very least have a box and a deep hole handy!"