Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Be Happy

Be Happy
Did you know a five year old laughs on average 400 times per day, whereas an
adult laughs around 15 times per day?
What happens as we grow into adulthood?

How is it that so many adults loose the ability to have that inner feeling of happiness children feel? Remember the excitement you felt as a child? My grandson gets so excited when he hears the song played by the ice cream van. Or maybe the excitement you felt just before your birthday, waking up an "the day" looking out for the postman. How wonderful it felt on the last day of school, just before the summer break - all those weeks ahead just playing and having fun.
How can you tap into those feelings of happiness?
Adulthood brings many responsibilities and at the same time gives us freedom. freedom to choose how we want to live. So how is it that so many adults say they are unhappy? Stressed? So many people are taking prescribed medications for depression, anxiety, panic attacks and sleeping problems, how can we find a way back to that those feeling of happiness we had.
The way we think creates how we feel.
Feelings can't just happen, we need to create them and we do this with our thoughts.
My clients are often amazed that by identifying the thought process that creates them to feel depressed, anxious, fearful; and then charging this their feelings charge. By changing your thoughts you change your emotions. We can change the way that we perceive situations and this will help us to achieve a better frame of mind
I remember on my NLP Practitioner course feeling so amazed that I could actually control the way that I responded to things could be changed by using the principles and techniques of NLP. I had been given the users manual to my brain.

What is it that adults do of have forgotten to do?

Our thoughts are creative, most adults focus on the negative, the “what ifs” than focussing on what they can do. Children take each moment, enjoying the simplest of pleasures - enjoying he people around them, the moment.

By taking control of your neurology, you thoughts, you too can get rid of any negativity and begin to create a happier more fulfilling life.

Wednesday, 8 July 2009


The world has been mourning Michael Jackson, an amazing musician and performer who sadly died recently at only 50 years of age. Theres been a lot of controversy in his short life about many things, not least the amount of plastic surgery he underwent. He never seemed happy with his looks and it has been said how he thought he was ugly. All this turned my thoughts to Maxwell Maltz.

Maxwell Maltz was a highly regarded plastic surgeon who noticed that with the surgery that he did some people were completely transformed. Changing their bodies changed their personality. Once they had the plastic surgery they became the person they wanted to be, whilst others, no matter how much surgery they had never seemed to “find their true selves”. No matter how much they reconstructed their physical image it was not necessarily the key to their happiness, something else was needed.

Once this something else was reconstructed the person changed, inside. He said it was as if personality had a face, and this non physical face was the key to personality changes. He believed self image is the key to human personality, change the self image and you change the personality and behaviour. Self image defines what you can and cannot do, so if you expand your self-image you expand the area of possibility.

Successful men and women have for years used mental pictures and rehearsal; practice to achieve success. For example Napoleon practiced his soldiering in his imagination for many years before he went on to fight any battles. Positive visualisation can change your self image; Maxwell Maltz believed before you can change you must see yourself in the new role.

Using positive visualisation to picture the desired result literally forces you into positive thinking. This exercise can help you achieve your best possible self; by forming a picture in your imagination of the self you want to be and see yourself in the new role.

In San Francisco two psychologists with the Veterans Administration reported on an experiment; whereby mental patients were asked to answer questions as if they were a typical well adjusted person. In order to answer the questions as a typical well adjusted person would answer they had to imagine how a typical well adjusted person would act. They had to imagine themselves in the role of a well adjusted person and this in itself was enough to cause them to begin acting as ……………. And feeling like ……………………

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

About Time

Having just flown across the Atlantic time has been on my mind, time doesn’t really exist and yet we act as if its a commodity – Im sure there’s a name for something like that.

People complain about;

“running out of time”

“theres never enough time”

“I need more time”

For years people look for more time then just when they think they will have the time they crave suddenly they have time on their hands .............

Sitting on the plan having forgotten to pack my iPod, my entertainment system not working and of course due to that wonderful earthy law; there were actually a few movies I wanted to see! Fidgeting in my seat, checking my watch for the umpteenth time - I suddenly realised I had lost control of time. Each minute dragged by like an hour.

Now I know that every single one of you has gone through experiences of time distortion like this. Waiting in a queue at the bank the person in front of you hands over a bag of coins and they begin to count them. Time seems to stand still you feel as if you have been waiting for hours, look at your watch and only a few moments have gone by.

And times when you are having so much fun, those times you want to hold onto forever, just fly by. And when you have been driving on the motorway at speed when you pull off and slow down it feels as f you are crawling along so very slowly when you are actually moving at 40 mph.

Time cant change just your perception changes depending on the state you are in.

Within NLP one of the most basic skills we learn is how to control our state. One of the basic presuppositions being that we have being that we have all the resources within us.
As well as learning how the way that we perceive something depends on the frame in which we place it.

So how to get back control of time.

I reviewed my state. It wasn’t a useful one focussing on the entertainment system, moaning to myself about how there was nothing to do, how uncomfortable I was, tired, fed up ....................

The first thing I changed was my state. I thought about my destination. I was flying to Orlando to be a support trainer for Richard Bandler and John La Valle’s summer program. I also had some me time planned for retail therapy, relaxing in the sun and chilling with friends.

I made some plans thinking about what was to come. Ensuring my thoughts were full of all the fabulous things I wanted to do. Big bright colourful plans including all representational systems, sounds of music, voices; creating wonderful feelings of anticipation; fragrances and tastes of local delicacies all filled my mind.

OK now my state was different.

Then I focussed on other times I had flown and how amazed I was at just how quickly I arrived at my destination.

Feeling much more in control I decided to close my eyes for a moment and then we were coming in to land.

How time had flown.