Whenever I mention the possibility of painless childbirth and woman’s ability to achieve this herself without the use of drugs; so many people respond with comments along the lines of “but that’s what an epidural is for”.
I first began to look at childbirth in the 1980’s when I was pregnant with my daughter. I believed as I was only pregnant and this was a perfectly natural state to be in that it would be a relatively easy process. Then I read all these books telling me about what to expect and the various procedures that were at that time considered necessary during labour. I’m sure my doctor thought I was “difficult”; I remember going into hospital with a whole list of things that I had decided wouldn’t (and didn’t) happen. Happily today most of these are a thing of the past.
Whilst studying NLP and Hypnosis one of the things that intrigued me was the way that the mind creates our thoughts, beliefs and responses to situations, and I was drawn to the minds ability to control various sensations or our perception of sensations specifically the sensation labeled pain. How is it that we have different “pain thresholds”; and that one persons pain can be another’s pleasure. This question brought my attention back to childbirth and the fact that there are women in the world today that give birth within a few hours and then return to work with their babies swaddled to them. What is it that makes birth easy for some women and difficult for others?
During my research I found Dr Grantly Dick Read also had this question; he was a doctor at Whitechapel Hospital, East London, in the early 1900’s. One evening when he was called out to assist a woman in labour, he offered her chloroform, the only chemical pain control available at the time, which she refused. Afterwards when he congratulated her on her bravery she replied “it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t meant to was it Doctor?”
This comment spurred him onto investigate pain in childbirth; he found that this women wasn’t an isolated incident and that many women achieved what appeared to be a pain free birth experience. He begun to wonder about the differences between those who said they was in agony and those who had an easy time. Interestingly he said that women who had an easy time in childbirth “appeared to be in a trance like state”.
Intrigued by his findings, I went along to a few new baby coffee mornings with the National Childbirth Trust (NCT. During my research I found that Dr Grantly Dick Read inspired the creation of the NCT in its early days it was called the Natural Childbirth Association). New mums enjoy talking about their babies births and whenever I heard a woman telling a story of how easy it was I became very interested; and asked some questions. I wanted to find out what they did, what was their strategy in achieving an easy birth. And I found out that they all had similar stories to tell; they said things like “this sounds really strange but ……….there was a picture on the wall of my room and as the contractions got stronger I seemed to climb in the picture; or I remembered a place from my childhood/past and it was as if I was back there until it was time for baby to be born and suddenly I was back……….
Their descriptions reminded me of a kind of hypnosis known as deep trance phenomena and I begun to wonder if this was what we were supposed to do whilst in labour.
In 2001 a friend asked me to help her achieve natural childbirth she had a teenage daughter and was disappointed that her first birth hadn’t been a natural one. I met with her, her partner and her daughter, and we began to design what later became the blue print for my childbirth classes. I was honored to be asked to be present at the birth also, and so got to review the system first hand so to speak. The midwifery staff were all excited when I arrived at the hospital with my friend. You’re the hypnotist they said, we’re looking forward to seeing what you can do.
Over the years, these classes have evolved and now contain a combination of hypnosis, NLP and DHE™ all designed to teach the mum to be how they can enter a deeply relaxed state during childbirth to create their own phenomena. Many of my students have asked me during our classes whether they will actually be able to access that state during labour and they have contacted me afterwards to say how wonderful the whole process was for them and how they were able to relax and follow my instructions “just as I said they would”.
From the classes that I have taught over the years, I know that women can have a natural birth experience without fear, worry or discomfort. There is one side effects that seem to result from using hypnosis and NLP during pregnancy as you prepare for labour - the babies are very happy, contented and relaxed.
Painless Childbirth available from www.tina-taylor.com
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
Thursday, 23 December 2010
The Pursuit of Happiness
Well its that time of year – tis the season to be jolly! All those lovely movies on TV, scenes of happy families, caring and sharing…….. Christmas is the time of year when many people reflect on their lives, maybe they are comparing their family Christmases with those on TV.
Apparently in the 1940s people rates their level of happiness as 7.5 out of 10 and yet todays studies show that on average we rate our happiness as 7.2 out of 10. So with all the toys, entertainment etc that we have at our disposal we are less happy than in the 1940s. And yet so many people look for happiness in things. There must be something out there that will take away my bad mood, make me happy – if I could only be happy ……… Choosing drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating to name but a few as a way to try to achieve that happy feeling even if only for a while.
What is happiness?
In linguistic forms this is a nominalisation – a verb we have treated as a noun.
People spend a lot of time trying to get more happiness yet this is not something you can buy at the store, it comes form within. Some say it’s a frame of mind. Our choices do pay a large part in how we feel, and I’m not talking about whether you get those shoes in both colours.
The way in which we interpret our lives has a greater impact on our happiness than the events themselves. As William Shakespeare said “nothing is ever good or bad only thinking makes it so”.
Apparently on the Olympic podium the bronze medallist is happier than the silver. The silver is comparing themselves to the gold and thinking of what they have missed, whereas the bronze is comparing themselves to those who came after him and pleased with his success.
In the UK we have had the worst, coldest winter in decades, this has been a huge challenge to many businesses. I have been snowed in a couple of times, unable to make appointments, the internet down due to weather conditions. Now I could get really angry, be in a bad mood or accept this time as a chance to finalise some creative writing. The appointments have all been rearranged and I’m spending time writing in front of a warm fire, watching the snow outside of my window.
I can’t alter the weather but I can decide how I respond to it.
However you spend the holiday season, I wish you the ability to make the right choices that enable you to have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous new year.
www.tina-taylor.com
Apparently in the 1940s people rates their level of happiness as 7.5 out of 10 and yet todays studies show that on average we rate our happiness as 7.2 out of 10. So with all the toys, entertainment etc that we have at our disposal we are less happy than in the 1940s. And yet so many people look for happiness in things. There must be something out there that will take away my bad mood, make me happy – if I could only be happy ……… Choosing drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating to name but a few as a way to try to achieve that happy feeling even if only for a while.
What is happiness?
In linguistic forms this is a nominalisation – a verb we have treated as a noun.
People spend a lot of time trying to get more happiness yet this is not something you can buy at the store, it comes form within. Some say it’s a frame of mind. Our choices do pay a large part in how we feel, and I’m not talking about whether you get those shoes in both colours.
The way in which we interpret our lives has a greater impact on our happiness than the events themselves. As William Shakespeare said “nothing is ever good or bad only thinking makes it so”.
Apparently on the Olympic podium the bronze medallist is happier than the silver. The silver is comparing themselves to the gold and thinking of what they have missed, whereas the bronze is comparing themselves to those who came after him and pleased with his success.
In the UK we have had the worst, coldest winter in decades, this has been a huge challenge to many businesses. I have been snowed in a couple of times, unable to make appointments, the internet down due to weather conditions. Now I could get really angry, be in a bad mood or accept this time as a chance to finalise some creative writing. The appointments have all been rearranged and I’m spending time writing in front of a warm fire, watching the snow outside of my window.
I can’t alter the weather but I can decide how I respond to it.
However you spend the holiday season, I wish you the ability to make the right choices that enable you to have a wonderful Christmas and a fabulous new year.
www.tina-taylor.com
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Scared on the Inside
One of my clients came to see me because; she felt she had a scar on her mind……..
She is a petite size 10, well-dressed thirty something career woman who on the outside looks confident and in control of her life.
Apparently, all her life she had been fat, a size 24 at her heaviest. All through her life she had been bigger than anyone else, at home food equalled love. Her mother showed her children how much she loved them by feeding them. The more her mother fed her the better mother she was and the more she ate the more she was able to show her mother just how much she loved her.
She wore her weight as a defence, if you’re fat and unloved you’ll never get hurt was something she used to say.
At university she was the guys best friend and assumed that no one thought of her in a sexual way. She told herself she was fat and happy. Any boyfriends she had inevitably left her for thinner women – her words.
Then something happened in her early thirties, she lost her appetite and began to loose weight. Not because of any diet or any conscious will on her part; she became depressed because of unrequited love.
Initially she felt fabulous buying all those clothes she’d always wanted, one of the few moments in her life she had viewed her body with delight; then she began to hate herself because it took a bought of clinical depression for her to change her eating habits.
Men noticed her for her body instead of her personality, whilst initially this was fantastic she soon realised that although she had more sex; she wasn’t spending time with men she really wanted to be with.
She should have felt wonderful but her past hang over her, she still felt fat! She had assumed that once she had the body she wanted her life would be perfect – yet she was fat on the inside.
Maxwell Maltz an American cosmetic surgeon who developed Psycho-Cybernetics, said people were scared on the inside. That some of his clients no matter how much surgery they had, still felt ugly.
He started to work on their confidence and self esteem prior to surgery and found this worked in two ways, either they decided not to go ahead with the surgery or they were happier with the results.
Many years ago one of my clients, a young girl who wanted to loose weight, said after our session that she felt so fabulous about herself that she decided not to diet after all. A few months later I bumped into her in a local store, I didn’t recognise her at first as she looked so different; much more confident, happier and yes thinner!
www.tina-taylor.com
She is a petite size 10, well-dressed thirty something career woman who on the outside looks confident and in control of her life.
Apparently, all her life she had been fat, a size 24 at her heaviest. All through her life she had been bigger than anyone else, at home food equalled love. Her mother showed her children how much she loved them by feeding them. The more her mother fed her the better mother she was and the more she ate the more she was able to show her mother just how much she loved her.
She wore her weight as a defence, if you’re fat and unloved you’ll never get hurt was something she used to say.
At university she was the guys best friend and assumed that no one thought of her in a sexual way. She told herself she was fat and happy. Any boyfriends she had inevitably left her for thinner women – her words.
Then something happened in her early thirties, she lost her appetite and began to loose weight. Not because of any diet or any conscious will on her part; she became depressed because of unrequited love.
Initially she felt fabulous buying all those clothes she’d always wanted, one of the few moments in her life she had viewed her body with delight; then she began to hate herself because it took a bought of clinical depression for her to change her eating habits.
Men noticed her for her body instead of her personality, whilst initially this was fantastic she soon realised that although she had more sex; she wasn’t spending time with men she really wanted to be with.
She should have felt wonderful but her past hang over her, she still felt fat! She had assumed that once she had the body she wanted her life would be perfect – yet she was fat on the inside.
Maxwell Maltz an American cosmetic surgeon who developed Psycho-Cybernetics, said people were scared on the inside. That some of his clients no matter how much surgery they had, still felt ugly.
He started to work on their confidence and self esteem prior to surgery and found this worked in two ways, either they decided not to go ahead with the surgery or they were happier with the results.
Many years ago one of my clients, a young girl who wanted to loose weight, said after our session that she felt so fabulous about herself that she decided not to diet after all. A few months later I bumped into her in a local store, I didn’t recognise her at first as she looked so different; much more confident, happier and yes thinner!
www.tina-taylor.com
Monday, 1 February 2010
Just the weigh you are ..........
Last weekend I assisted Paul McKenna in Birmingham on his I Can Make You Thin seminar, 1500 people mostly women all wanting to change the way they look.
So many people spend their whole life going from one diet to another. My cousin, looses weight, he goes to one of the weight loss clubs; then within a few months gains it all back again and some. Then joins (the same club) and goes through the whole program once more. He suffers, he moans (I sometimes think a man on a diet is much worse than a man with man flu), his stomach growing with hunger, and all he can think about is that he can have that four ounces of carrot juice but couldn’t get within twenty metres of a chip; and he accepts this agony as an inevitable part of losing weight.
Then you finally reached your goal – you even lost five extra pounds to give yourself some leeway. You thought you could stop your diet and eat “normally” so you do, and in a few weeks you gain all of that weight back again. This is a familiar, almost monotonous tale and it illustrates the most prevalent factor in unsuccessful weight reduction. The loss of pounds is not permanent when you reduce the food you eat without considering the reasons for the weight gain.
Most people if they manage to loose the weight on a diet will put the weight back on again, unless they completely change their relationship with food and change the way in which they eat.
Interestingly, at a time when we (in the UK) are aware of the effects of obesity and have had the benefit of education in what is best for our bodies and what diets are most suitable for many decades now, are at our most overweight. The overweight yo yo dieting, each time they fail moving on to the next diet looking for a miracle that will make them thin. Avoiding mirrors so that they can ignore the fat, hating themselves, thinking others must hate them too.
The main reason people get fat is because they ignore the signals received by their bodies, reconnecting with your body; listening to the signals it sends is the first step to achieving the perfect body for you. Working with your body.
And the not so overweight bombarded in the media with picture of models who are far too thin – many who don’t even look like that because they have been airbrushed. Looking at themselves in the mirror, hallucinating fat, hating themselves for being so unattractive. Ironic when just a few years ago the most beautiful women in the media was Marilyn Monroe, who was a size 16.
Some women who think they need to loose weight are chasing an image that they think they need to succeed in today’s culture and yet diets don’t make you beautiful, glamour is a look not a size.
Learning to love and accept yourself is the beginning to improved self confidence, better health, and a sense of well being that will lead you to a much better life and the motivation to make those changes in your life style that will give you the weight loss you are seeking.
www.tina-taylor.com
So many people spend their whole life going from one diet to another. My cousin, looses weight, he goes to one of the weight loss clubs; then within a few months gains it all back again and some. Then joins (the same club) and goes through the whole program once more. He suffers, he moans (I sometimes think a man on a diet is much worse than a man with man flu), his stomach growing with hunger, and all he can think about is that he can have that four ounces of carrot juice but couldn’t get within twenty metres of a chip; and he accepts this agony as an inevitable part of losing weight.
Then you finally reached your goal – you even lost five extra pounds to give yourself some leeway. You thought you could stop your diet and eat “normally” so you do, and in a few weeks you gain all of that weight back again. This is a familiar, almost monotonous tale and it illustrates the most prevalent factor in unsuccessful weight reduction. The loss of pounds is not permanent when you reduce the food you eat without considering the reasons for the weight gain.
Most people if they manage to loose the weight on a diet will put the weight back on again, unless they completely change their relationship with food and change the way in which they eat.
Interestingly, at a time when we (in the UK) are aware of the effects of obesity and have had the benefit of education in what is best for our bodies and what diets are most suitable for many decades now, are at our most overweight. The overweight yo yo dieting, each time they fail moving on to the next diet looking for a miracle that will make them thin. Avoiding mirrors so that they can ignore the fat, hating themselves, thinking others must hate them too.
The main reason people get fat is because they ignore the signals received by their bodies, reconnecting with your body; listening to the signals it sends is the first step to achieving the perfect body for you. Working with your body.
And the not so overweight bombarded in the media with picture of models who are far too thin – many who don’t even look like that because they have been airbrushed. Looking at themselves in the mirror, hallucinating fat, hating themselves for being so unattractive. Ironic when just a few years ago the most beautiful women in the media was Marilyn Monroe, who was a size 16.
Some women who think they need to loose weight are chasing an image that they think they need to succeed in today’s culture and yet diets don’t make you beautiful, glamour is a look not a size.
Learning to love and accept yourself is the beginning to improved self confidence, better health, and a sense of well being that will lead you to a much better life and the motivation to make those changes in your life style that will give you the weight loss you are seeking.
www.tina-taylor.com
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
What is PNI
Psychoneuroimmunology explores how our psychological conditions and neurological processes effect our immune system. How our thoughts and beliefs can affect our health.
Centuries ago it was believed that when we became ill that we had a dis-ease of the mind and at that time apothecaries dealt with the four humours of the body; believing that once they had everything in balance that the body would heal. With the advent of allopathic medicine this kind of practice died out, which for many people was a god send as the apothecaries of the time were believed to have killed as many of their patients as they “healed” with their methods of purging and blood letting to get the bad humours out of the body.
The Chinese, for centuries, have believed that disease takes place when there is disharmony in an organ or within an organs system. They say that this affects the flow of Qi; the energy flow through the meridians of the body. Eastern healers look for a reason why the Qi is blocked; looking to diagnose the nature of the disharmony so that they can then correct the imbalance so that the Qi can flow freely again and the individual can heal.
Roger Callahan, creator of TFT, has noticed that when people are ill they suffer from a reversal of the flow of energy within the meridians. He noticed this whilst his wife was having chemotherapy that whilst she felt the affects of the drug in her system that her energy flow was blocked and that by working with her to get the energy flowing freely she felt no effects from her chemo. How do you test your flow of energy I hear you ask; thats one of the questions I will answer and demonstrate on our PNI course on March 13th.
Since the 1980’s we have begun to look at how our brain and immune system interact with each other. It is now readily accepted that stress and emotional responses change the chemical levels in the blood stream that in turn effect the efficient functioning of the immune system; supporting the concept of a direct relationship in between our central nervous system and our immune system. For example; it is now believed that some cancers can be triggered by extreme stress.
Over many years of being a hypnotherapist I have noticed how my clients come to see me for one problem and by helping them overcome this their health improves; how can this happen?
A few of my clients who have come to see me for help conceiving using IVF, as they have been told that they will never be able to conceive naturally due to medical problems, have conceived naturally and their medical problems have cleared up as we have dealt with the issues they had around parenthood and pregnancy.
Medical science has provided us with various cures for illnesses that at one time were incurable; and throughout the history of medical research we have also discovered factors such as the placebo effect. People being given what was probably basically sugar pills and being told that they were a super drug that would heal them and they heal. Against all odds their disease goes away.
Back in 1994 Barbara Stepp attended a workshop run by Richard Bandler; Richard was demonstrating his “beautification” technique and choose Barbara as one of his demo subjects. What Richard didn’t know at this point was that Barbara had cancer; and to both their surprise her cancer went away. What do we mean when we say things like the cancer went away? We all have cancer cells within our bodies , we actually need some to stay healthy so we obviously have a way of keeping those cells at the right level.
How do we do this?
On March 13th at Kingston University I will be running a one day workshop where we will explore PNI and various methods of healing and how to harness the power of your unconscious.
www.tina-taylor.com
Centuries ago it was believed that when we became ill that we had a dis-ease of the mind and at that time apothecaries dealt with the four humours of the body; believing that once they had everything in balance that the body would heal. With the advent of allopathic medicine this kind of practice died out, which for many people was a god send as the apothecaries of the time were believed to have killed as many of their patients as they “healed” with their methods of purging and blood letting to get the bad humours out of the body.
The Chinese, for centuries, have believed that disease takes place when there is disharmony in an organ or within an organs system. They say that this affects the flow of Qi; the energy flow through the meridians of the body. Eastern healers look for a reason why the Qi is blocked; looking to diagnose the nature of the disharmony so that they can then correct the imbalance so that the Qi can flow freely again and the individual can heal.
Roger Callahan, creator of TFT, has noticed that when people are ill they suffer from a reversal of the flow of energy within the meridians. He noticed this whilst his wife was having chemotherapy that whilst she felt the affects of the drug in her system that her energy flow was blocked and that by working with her to get the energy flowing freely she felt no effects from her chemo. How do you test your flow of energy I hear you ask; thats one of the questions I will answer and demonstrate on our PNI course on March 13th.
Since the 1980’s we have begun to look at how our brain and immune system interact with each other. It is now readily accepted that stress and emotional responses change the chemical levels in the blood stream that in turn effect the efficient functioning of the immune system; supporting the concept of a direct relationship in between our central nervous system and our immune system. For example; it is now believed that some cancers can be triggered by extreme stress.
Over many years of being a hypnotherapist I have noticed how my clients come to see me for one problem and by helping them overcome this their health improves; how can this happen?
A few of my clients who have come to see me for help conceiving using IVF, as they have been told that they will never be able to conceive naturally due to medical problems, have conceived naturally and their medical problems have cleared up as we have dealt with the issues they had around parenthood and pregnancy.
Medical science has provided us with various cures for illnesses that at one time were incurable; and throughout the history of medical research we have also discovered factors such as the placebo effect. People being given what was probably basically sugar pills and being told that they were a super drug that would heal them and they heal. Against all odds their disease goes away.
Back in 1994 Barbara Stepp attended a workshop run by Richard Bandler; Richard was demonstrating his “beautification” technique and choose Barbara as one of his demo subjects. What Richard didn’t know at this point was that Barbara had cancer; and to both their surprise her cancer went away. What do we mean when we say things like the cancer went away? We all have cancer cells within our bodies , we actually need some to stay healthy so we obviously have a way of keeping those cells at the right level.
How do we do this?
On March 13th at Kingston University I will be running a one day workshop where we will explore PNI and various methods of healing and how to harness the power of your unconscious.
www.tina-taylor.com
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Anger
Learning to deal with our emotions rather than bottling them up is essential to our wellbeing and our ability to create relationships; but how exactly do we do that?
It is thought by psychologists that staying quiet while seething inside can lead to chronic stress, depression, low self esteem and possibly physical illness. And yet it is considered impolite to let people know how we feel, to keep our thoughts and emotions hidden inside is what we are taught to do from a very early age. Whats the best way to get rid of these negative feelings?
Maybe we should count to 10, remove ourselves from the situation and take a few deep breaths. Thats one way that will help you to calm down; taking deep slow breaths can slow down your heart rate. So many of my clients have said that only helps for a while, that is until “those thoughts come back”.
There is also a train of thought that thinks its healthier to let is all out by shouting, screaming or even smashing things. A few years back there was a train of thought that one way to get rid of peoples anger was for them to hit things – this was usually a pillow. The angry person would take a bat or stick and repeatedly hit something whilst thinking of their anger.
There is even a place in San Diego (www.smashshack.com) whereby you can go and pay for the privilege of being able to smash things. Its proving so popular in the US that we in the UK will be able to try out this way of venting our spleen very soon.
Googles and a safety suit are provided (we must remember health and safety whilst being angry) and a padded room whereby people can then smash crockery and glasses etc; they can even bring their own stuff if they so wish.
Studies have found that these kinds of techniques can actually make people even more angry and aggressive than before. The more they practice being angry the better they get at it ................
Anger like all emotions is there for a specific reason and is a signal for us to take action possibly change something and communicate to others that something isn’t right.
The old fashioned English way of keeping a stiff upper lip may even be damaging for peoples career according to research done by Harvard. This project tracked the lives of more than 800 people for the past 44 years and found that those who dealt with their anger were more likely to be happy in their life and career and enjoy closer physical and emotional intimacy whereas those who suppressed their feelings were more likely to have disappointment work and person lives.
So how can we deal with anger in an appropriate way?
Exercise is one way as the exertion will reduce adrenalin and any aggression whilst giving you time to think and calm down.
Another way of helping people deal with aggression and anger is to ascertain their strategy, what is it that they are doing in their head that makes them feel this way and teach them how they can change the way they are feeling, responding to situations that will allow them to let go of any aggressive angry thoughts; in turn giving them the ability to decide what needs to change to enable them to improve their physical and emotional wellbeing.
www.tina-taylor.com
It is thought by psychologists that staying quiet while seething inside can lead to chronic stress, depression, low self esteem and possibly physical illness. And yet it is considered impolite to let people know how we feel, to keep our thoughts and emotions hidden inside is what we are taught to do from a very early age. Whats the best way to get rid of these negative feelings?
Maybe we should count to 10, remove ourselves from the situation and take a few deep breaths. Thats one way that will help you to calm down; taking deep slow breaths can slow down your heart rate. So many of my clients have said that only helps for a while, that is until “those thoughts come back”.
There is also a train of thought that thinks its healthier to let is all out by shouting, screaming or even smashing things. A few years back there was a train of thought that one way to get rid of peoples anger was for them to hit things – this was usually a pillow. The angry person would take a bat or stick and repeatedly hit something whilst thinking of their anger.
There is even a place in San Diego (www.smashshack.com) whereby you can go and pay for the privilege of being able to smash things. Its proving so popular in the US that we in the UK will be able to try out this way of venting our spleen very soon.
Googles and a safety suit are provided (we must remember health and safety whilst being angry) and a padded room whereby people can then smash crockery and glasses etc; they can even bring their own stuff if they so wish.
Studies have found that these kinds of techniques can actually make people even more angry and aggressive than before. The more they practice being angry the better they get at it ................
Anger like all emotions is there for a specific reason and is a signal for us to take action possibly change something and communicate to others that something isn’t right.
The old fashioned English way of keeping a stiff upper lip may even be damaging for peoples career according to research done by Harvard. This project tracked the lives of more than 800 people for the past 44 years and found that those who dealt with their anger were more likely to be happy in their life and career and enjoy closer physical and emotional intimacy whereas those who suppressed their feelings were more likely to have disappointment work and person lives.
So how can we deal with anger in an appropriate way?
Exercise is one way as the exertion will reduce adrenalin and any aggression whilst giving you time to think and calm down.
Another way of helping people deal with aggression and anger is to ascertain their strategy, what is it that they are doing in their head that makes them feel this way and teach them how they can change the way they are feeling, responding to situations that will allow them to let go of any aggressive angry thoughts; in turn giving them the ability to decide what needs to change to enable them to improve their physical and emotional wellbeing.
www.tina-taylor.com
Friday, 11 December 2009
I Love My Job
When I first started my private practice I considered a number of things – marketing, fee structure, where to work, building up my skills amongst others. One thing I hadn’t considered was working with children; and yet children are probably the best clients you can have.
They have no preconceived ideas as to how things work; if you ask them about the pictures they have in their head or the voices they hear – they will tell you. If you ask them to tell you about the feeling they have, they are very happy to explain. They can tell you about all these things in the smallest of details. They don’t want to tell you any details of their fears or worries and are extremely happy to work content free.
Many years ago my first young client was a girl of 7 whose big brother had let her watch the Exorcist whilst he was babysitting! If you haven’t seen the movie, there are scenes in it that I (who have seen many things and isn’t squeamish) don’t like very much so you can imagine how it could affect a young girl. When she came to see me she had stopped talking to anyone, wouldn’t eat very much and would only go to sleep if her mother cuddled her.
To her mothers surprise after just a few moments, she was able to speak; her mother said it was like magic. What did I do? I told her that I would take the fear away and lock it in my filing cabinet and proceeded to do just that. Her first words in weeks were “you wont let it out will you”.
She was fine until she got home and her father said “you’d better be careful it doesn’t come back”. Great thanks dad!
When mum brought her back to me the next week, she said its not the same fear and I showed her how she could shrink down the pictures in her mind. But she didn’t want to keep them in her head so she would put them into envelopes and post them to me. Writing on the outside “Do Not Open Fear Inside”.
Just a few months ago a mother brought her 12 year old son to see me a very quiet nervous looking boy, who just sat and looked at me. He didn’t want to go to school, and each morning when they arrived at the school gates he had a panic attack. Apparently this started at his previous school and mum changed schools for him as the teachers in his previous school said he was stupid and slow. This lovely young man had been labelled dyslexic and his parents were trying to find some way to help him learn so that he could pass exams and succeed in life.
He thought he was stupid and was worried that he wouldn’t be able to do any of the things that was needed; he had been to counsellors before and they hadn’t helped at all.
He didn’t think about school when he wasn’t there, got ready in the morning OK, got in the car and it was only at the gate that he became scared. He said he had a huge picture of his teacher (who he didn’t like cos she thought he was stupid too!) in his head and all he could think about was this women who didn’t like him. I showed him how he could shrink her and push the picture away, and they suddenly he laughed, there was a sparkle in his eyes. “Can I give her a donkeys head?” he asked. Sure I replied and he put her in his pocket.
“Can I do this with the other thoughts I have?” he asked.
I told him of course he could and he proceeded to sort out his thoughts. Till he came to a feeling he couldn’t budge and I showed him how to get rid of that, and change the voice in his head. Then we went on to look at spelling strategies .....
His mum was so pleased that he now goes to school easily, and is much happier apparently he is starting a “Worry Club” for others at his school so that he can help other children change their bad feelings; and he’s asking when can he do his NLP Practitioner training ..............
Please note that anyone working with young persons or vulnerable adults may need to have a CRB (Criminal Record Bureau) check; this is essential if you are working alone with the young person. In the absence of this check you will need a parent or guardian with you at all times. Contact the CRB call centre on 0870 90 90 844 for a form.
www.tina-taylor.com
They have no preconceived ideas as to how things work; if you ask them about the pictures they have in their head or the voices they hear – they will tell you. If you ask them to tell you about the feeling they have, they are very happy to explain. They can tell you about all these things in the smallest of details. They don’t want to tell you any details of their fears or worries and are extremely happy to work content free.
Many years ago my first young client was a girl of 7 whose big brother had let her watch the Exorcist whilst he was babysitting! If you haven’t seen the movie, there are scenes in it that I (who have seen many things and isn’t squeamish) don’t like very much so you can imagine how it could affect a young girl. When she came to see me she had stopped talking to anyone, wouldn’t eat very much and would only go to sleep if her mother cuddled her.
To her mothers surprise after just a few moments, she was able to speak; her mother said it was like magic. What did I do? I told her that I would take the fear away and lock it in my filing cabinet and proceeded to do just that. Her first words in weeks were “you wont let it out will you”.
She was fine until she got home and her father said “you’d better be careful it doesn’t come back”. Great thanks dad!
When mum brought her back to me the next week, she said its not the same fear and I showed her how she could shrink down the pictures in her mind. But she didn’t want to keep them in her head so she would put them into envelopes and post them to me. Writing on the outside “Do Not Open Fear Inside”.
Just a few months ago a mother brought her 12 year old son to see me a very quiet nervous looking boy, who just sat and looked at me. He didn’t want to go to school, and each morning when they arrived at the school gates he had a panic attack. Apparently this started at his previous school and mum changed schools for him as the teachers in his previous school said he was stupid and slow. This lovely young man had been labelled dyslexic and his parents were trying to find some way to help him learn so that he could pass exams and succeed in life.
He thought he was stupid and was worried that he wouldn’t be able to do any of the things that was needed; he had been to counsellors before and they hadn’t helped at all.
He didn’t think about school when he wasn’t there, got ready in the morning OK, got in the car and it was only at the gate that he became scared. He said he had a huge picture of his teacher (who he didn’t like cos she thought he was stupid too!) in his head and all he could think about was this women who didn’t like him. I showed him how he could shrink her and push the picture away, and they suddenly he laughed, there was a sparkle in his eyes. “Can I give her a donkeys head?” he asked. Sure I replied and he put her in his pocket.
“Can I do this with the other thoughts I have?” he asked.
I told him of course he could and he proceeded to sort out his thoughts. Till he came to a feeling he couldn’t budge and I showed him how to get rid of that, and change the voice in his head. Then we went on to look at spelling strategies .....
His mum was so pleased that he now goes to school easily, and is much happier apparently he is starting a “Worry Club” for others at his school so that he can help other children change their bad feelings; and he’s asking when can he do his NLP Practitioner training ..............
Please note that anyone working with young persons or vulnerable adults may need to have a CRB (Criminal Record Bureau) check; this is essential if you are working alone with the young person. In the absence of this check you will need a parent or guardian with you at all times. Contact the CRB call centre on 0870 90 90 844 for a form.
www.tina-taylor.com
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