I collected my grandson from school yesterday, he is 5 ½, he and his friend were playing in the trees just outside the school, a small area of about a dozen trees with some bushes and undergrowth. They were having a fabulous time, they found some sticks and were using these to push their way through the branches. After a while a few others arrived, “what are you doing?” they said. Exploring a jungle was the reply.
When we got home, he asked if he could come up to my office with me so that he could do his work. I sat at my computer answering emails, booking appointments in my diary and designing a seminar whilst he sat at another desk in my office with my notepad pc and practiced his alphabet; ever so often asking me how to spell something. The little boy who lives next door was calling to him across the fence and he replied “I can’t come and play I’m busy working with Tina”.
A childs imagination is wonderful. I remember Richard Bandler telling a story about finding toy soldiers in pot plants in his house where his son had created another universe with his toys.
Our imagination can be used for many things some of them just as wonderful as the games created by children at play; and sometimes our imagination creates bad feelings, fears and anxieties.
I spoke to a 16 year old girl the other day whose diet was extremely limited. She lived off bread, potatoes, chocolate (funny but chocolate always seems to be OK), diary produce (milk, cheese, butter), chicken and fish. She didn’t eat vegetables or fruit – she could eat tomato ketchup (thats another that seems to get through peoples filters), creamed tomato soup and orange juice.
Her GP sent her to a dietician who told her what she should be eating ..........
She knows what she should be eating, but she doesn’t want to. Ever since she was a very small child she has had a problem with her food. Apparently as a toddler she nearly choked on something and from here decided that certain foods should never be eaten. She wont eat anything with lumps for example, and the food that she does eat she chews for ages before swallowing – this means that each meal takes an age.
When I asked her if she had eaten any soft fruits, I was surprised to find out that apparently raspberries had huge pips which made them difficult to eat. I hadn’t noticed.
On looking for something that she would be happy to eat at the end of our session, I suggested grapes but apparently eating a grape was like eating a blister. YUCK I thought that would definitely put me off. I then discovered her strategy for avoiding food, each food had a disgusting association attached to it. Her imagination had run wild for years stopping her from eating many foods.
A lot of people problems are caused by what they are imagining in their head, and all they have to do is imagine something different to change their feelings. Ah yes but how do they do that you may wonder.
Well thats a story for another day ............
www.tina-taylor.com
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Monday, 31 August 2009
Can Hypnosis increase fertility?
I am often asked about my work with couples to help them conceive; some asking about the process wanting to know how this can help them whilst others sceptically questioning the effectiveness of hypnosis. How can helping people to relax help them to get pregnant?
It is estimated that one in seven couples in the UK have difficulty conceiving, what does this mean? A fast number of these people have unexplained infertility, in other words there are no medical reasons why they haven’t conceived.
There are a vast number of potential causes that can hinder conception, ranging from physical to emotional and psychological barriers.
A diagnosis of infertility, whether explained or not, leaves the recipient of the diagnosis feeling disappointed and some feel there is no hope. More so if the diagnosis is unexplained. My clients tell me that if there was some medical explanation it would be easier to tackle than to be told that they have to relax and wait for nature to take its course.
Does this diagnosis mean the end of a dream? Or are there things that you can do to increase your fertility and to become a parent?
Many of my clients have been trying to become pregnant for many years, and have begun to wonder if they will ever have a family of their own. Some have spent thousands upon thousands of pounds on various medical treatments, drugs, IUI, GIFT and IVF without success. Some have waited to start their families only to discover that it is taking longer than anticipated to become pregnant.
Regardless as to their diagnosis they all found that the process of conceiving was highly emotional and stressful, many became depressed at the prospect of remaining childless.
Unfortunately, stress and depression can also reduce fertility levels. Stress and depression causes changes in the body’s biochemistry and upsets the body’s natural balance. Many of these women found themselves in a catch 22 situation; worried and anxious about not conceiving and then being told they had to relax.
Over ten years ago, just as I was beginning my studies of NLP and Hypnosis I discovered that one of my cousins was having difficulties conceiving. She had spent years having various tests and operations to improve her “chances” to conceive, these didn’t work and she was eventually told she would never conceive naturally and begun to think of IVF.
There was a problem here too, as she was afraid of some of the procedures and this was when I found out about her problems. She knew all about my studies and asked my advice. It was very clear from our discussions that the major blockage at that time was her fear of the process, and as we talked she began to tell me about other “silly worries” she had too. During our discussions we worked on the various issues that she voiced and she made the arrangements for the IVF cycle to begin. Only she never made those appointments as shortly after our meeting she became pregnant naturally.
Hypnosis can help increase fertility by reducing stress, relieving anxiety, lifting depression whilst enabling clients to deal with the many situations they face through this time. Also learning NLP and Hypnosis techniques allows them to take back in control of their lives.
Interestingly, I have found that by helping my clients deal with their limiting beliefs, fears and anxieties surrounding conception many women who had thought the only way they would conceive was through medical assistance, conceived naturally just like my cousin.
www.tina-taylor.com
It is estimated that one in seven couples in the UK have difficulty conceiving, what does this mean? A fast number of these people have unexplained infertility, in other words there are no medical reasons why they haven’t conceived.
There are a vast number of potential causes that can hinder conception, ranging from physical to emotional and psychological barriers.
A diagnosis of infertility, whether explained or not, leaves the recipient of the diagnosis feeling disappointed and some feel there is no hope. More so if the diagnosis is unexplained. My clients tell me that if there was some medical explanation it would be easier to tackle than to be told that they have to relax and wait for nature to take its course.
Does this diagnosis mean the end of a dream? Or are there things that you can do to increase your fertility and to become a parent?
Many of my clients have been trying to become pregnant for many years, and have begun to wonder if they will ever have a family of their own. Some have spent thousands upon thousands of pounds on various medical treatments, drugs, IUI, GIFT and IVF without success. Some have waited to start their families only to discover that it is taking longer than anticipated to become pregnant.
Regardless as to their diagnosis they all found that the process of conceiving was highly emotional and stressful, many became depressed at the prospect of remaining childless.
Unfortunately, stress and depression can also reduce fertility levels. Stress and depression causes changes in the body’s biochemistry and upsets the body’s natural balance. Many of these women found themselves in a catch 22 situation; worried and anxious about not conceiving and then being told they had to relax.
Over ten years ago, just as I was beginning my studies of NLP and Hypnosis I discovered that one of my cousins was having difficulties conceiving. She had spent years having various tests and operations to improve her “chances” to conceive, these didn’t work and she was eventually told she would never conceive naturally and begun to think of IVF.
There was a problem here too, as she was afraid of some of the procedures and this was when I found out about her problems. She knew all about my studies and asked my advice. It was very clear from our discussions that the major blockage at that time was her fear of the process, and as we talked she began to tell me about other “silly worries” she had too. During our discussions we worked on the various issues that she voiced and she made the arrangements for the IVF cycle to begin. Only she never made those appointments as shortly after our meeting she became pregnant naturally.
Hypnosis can help increase fertility by reducing stress, relieving anxiety, lifting depression whilst enabling clients to deal with the many situations they face through this time. Also learning NLP and Hypnosis techniques allows them to take back in control of their lives.
Interestingly, I have found that by helping my clients deal with their limiting beliefs, fears and anxieties surrounding conception many women who had thought the only way they would conceive was through medical assistance, conceived naturally just like my cousin.
www.tina-taylor.com
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Be Happy
Be Happy
Did you know a five year old laughs on average 400 times per day, whereas an
adult laughs around 15 times per day?
What happens as we grow into adulthood?
How is it that so many adults loose the ability to have that inner feeling of happiness children feel? Remember the excitement you felt as a child? My grandson gets so excited when he hears the song played by the ice cream van. Or maybe the excitement you felt just before your birthday, waking up an "the day" looking out for the postman. How wonderful it felt on the last day of school, just before the summer break - all those weeks ahead just playing and having fun.
How can you tap into those feelings of happiness?
Adulthood brings many responsibilities and at the same time gives us freedom. freedom to choose how we want to live. So how is it that so many adults say they are unhappy? Stressed? So many people are taking prescribed medications for depression, anxiety, panic attacks and sleeping problems, how can we find a way back to that those feeling of happiness we had.
The way we think creates how we feel.
Feelings can't just happen, we need to create them and we do this with our thoughts.
My clients are often amazed that by identifying the thought process that creates them to feel depressed, anxious, fearful; and then charging this their feelings charge. By changing your thoughts you change your emotions. We can change the way that we perceive situations and this will help us to achieve a better frame of mind
I remember on my NLP Practitioner course feeling so amazed that I could actually control the way that I responded to things could be changed by using the principles and techniques of NLP. I had been given the users manual to my brain.
What is it that adults do of have forgotten to do?
Our thoughts are creative, most adults focus on the negative, the “what ifs” than focussing on what they can do. Children take each moment, enjoying the simplest of pleasures - enjoying he people around them, the moment.
By taking control of your neurology, you thoughts, you too can get rid of any negativity and begin to create a happier more fulfilling life.
Did you know a five year old laughs on average 400 times per day, whereas an
adult laughs around 15 times per day?
What happens as we grow into adulthood?
How is it that so many adults loose the ability to have that inner feeling of happiness children feel? Remember the excitement you felt as a child? My grandson gets so excited when he hears the song played by the ice cream van. Or maybe the excitement you felt just before your birthday, waking up an "the day" looking out for the postman. How wonderful it felt on the last day of school, just before the summer break - all those weeks ahead just playing and having fun.
How can you tap into those feelings of happiness?
Adulthood brings many responsibilities and at the same time gives us freedom. freedom to choose how we want to live. So how is it that so many adults say they are unhappy? Stressed? So many people are taking prescribed medications for depression, anxiety, panic attacks and sleeping problems, how can we find a way back to that those feeling of happiness we had.
The way we think creates how we feel.
Feelings can't just happen, we need to create them and we do this with our thoughts.
My clients are often amazed that by identifying the thought process that creates them to feel depressed, anxious, fearful; and then charging this their feelings charge. By changing your thoughts you change your emotions. We can change the way that we perceive situations and this will help us to achieve a better frame of mind
I remember on my NLP Practitioner course feeling so amazed that I could actually control the way that I responded to things could be changed by using the principles and techniques of NLP. I had been given the users manual to my brain.
What is it that adults do of have forgotten to do?
Our thoughts are creative, most adults focus on the negative, the “what ifs” than focussing on what they can do. Children take each moment, enjoying the simplest of pleasures - enjoying he people around them, the moment.
By taking control of your neurology, you thoughts, you too can get rid of any negativity and begin to create a happier more fulfilling life.
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Psycho-cybernetics
The world has been mourning Michael Jackson, an amazing musician and performer who sadly died recently at only 50 years of age. Theres been a lot of controversy in his short life about many things, not least the amount of plastic surgery he underwent. He never seemed happy with his looks and it has been said how he thought he was ugly. All this turned my thoughts to Maxwell Maltz.
Maxwell Maltz was a highly regarded plastic surgeon who noticed that with the surgery that he did some people were completely transformed. Changing their bodies changed their personality. Once they had the plastic surgery they became the person they wanted to be, whilst others, no matter how much surgery they had never seemed to “find their true selves”. No matter how much they reconstructed their physical image it was not necessarily the key to their happiness, something else was needed.
Once this something else was reconstructed the person changed, inside. He said it was as if personality had a face, and this non physical face was the key to personality changes. He believed self image is the key to human personality, change the self image and you change the personality and behaviour. Self image defines what you can and cannot do, so if you expand your self-image you expand the area of possibility.
Successful men and women have for years used mental pictures and rehearsal; practice to achieve success. For example Napoleon practiced his soldiering in his imagination for many years before he went on to fight any battles. Positive visualisation can change your self image; Maxwell Maltz believed before you can change you must see yourself in the new role.
Using positive visualisation to picture the desired result literally forces you into positive thinking. This exercise can help you achieve your best possible self; by forming a picture in your imagination of the self you want to be and see yourself in the new role.
In San Francisco two psychologists with the Veterans Administration reported on an experiment; whereby mental patients were asked to answer questions as if they were a typical well adjusted person. In order to answer the questions as a typical well adjusted person would answer they had to imagine how a typical well adjusted person would act. They had to imagine themselves in the role of a well adjusted person and this in itself was enough to cause them to begin acting as ……………. And feeling like ……………………
Maxwell Maltz was a highly regarded plastic surgeon who noticed that with the surgery that he did some people were completely transformed. Changing their bodies changed their personality. Once they had the plastic surgery they became the person they wanted to be, whilst others, no matter how much surgery they had never seemed to “find their true selves”. No matter how much they reconstructed their physical image it was not necessarily the key to their happiness, something else was needed.
Once this something else was reconstructed the person changed, inside. He said it was as if personality had a face, and this non physical face was the key to personality changes. He believed self image is the key to human personality, change the self image and you change the personality and behaviour. Self image defines what you can and cannot do, so if you expand your self-image you expand the area of possibility.
Successful men and women have for years used mental pictures and rehearsal; practice to achieve success. For example Napoleon practiced his soldiering in his imagination for many years before he went on to fight any battles. Positive visualisation can change your self image; Maxwell Maltz believed before you can change you must see yourself in the new role.
Using positive visualisation to picture the desired result literally forces you into positive thinking. This exercise can help you achieve your best possible self; by forming a picture in your imagination of the self you want to be and see yourself in the new role.
In San Francisco two psychologists with the Veterans Administration reported on an experiment; whereby mental patients were asked to answer questions as if they were a typical well adjusted person. In order to answer the questions as a typical well adjusted person would answer they had to imagine how a typical well adjusted person would act. They had to imagine themselves in the role of a well adjusted person and this in itself was enough to cause them to begin acting as ……………. And feeling like ……………………
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
About Time
Having just flown across the Atlantic time has been on my mind, time doesn’t really exist and yet we act as if its a commodity – Im sure there’s a name for something like that.
People complain about;
“running out of time”
“theres never enough time”
“I need more time”
For years people look for more time then just when they think they will have the time they crave suddenly they have time on their hands .............
Sitting on the plan having forgotten to pack my iPod, my entertainment system not working and of course due to that wonderful earthy law; there were actually a few movies I wanted to see! Fidgeting in my seat, checking my watch for the umpteenth time - I suddenly realised I had lost control of time. Each minute dragged by like an hour.
Now I know that every single one of you has gone through experiences of time distortion like this. Waiting in a queue at the bank the person in front of you hands over a bag of coins and they begin to count them. Time seems to stand still you feel as if you have been waiting for hours, look at your watch and only a few moments have gone by.
And times when you are having so much fun, those times you want to hold onto forever, just fly by. And when you have been driving on the motorway at speed when you pull off and slow down it feels as f you are crawling along so very slowly when you are actually moving at 40 mph.
Time cant change just your perception changes depending on the state you are in.
Within NLP one of the most basic skills we learn is how to control our state. One of the basic presuppositions being that we have being that we have all the resources within us.
As well as learning how the way that we perceive something depends on the frame in which we place it.
So how to get back control of time.
I reviewed my state. It wasn’t a useful one focussing on the entertainment system, moaning to myself about how there was nothing to do, how uncomfortable I was, tired, fed up ....................
The first thing I changed was my state. I thought about my destination. I was flying to Orlando to be a support trainer for Richard Bandler and John La Valle’s summer program. I also had some me time planned for retail therapy, relaxing in the sun and chilling with friends.
I made some plans thinking about what was to come. Ensuring my thoughts were full of all the fabulous things I wanted to do. Big bright colourful plans including all representational systems, sounds of music, voices; creating wonderful feelings of anticipation; fragrances and tastes of local delicacies all filled my mind.
OK now my state was different.
Then I focussed on other times I had flown and how amazed I was at just how quickly I arrived at my destination.
Feeling much more in control I decided to close my eyes for a moment and then we were coming in to land.
How time had flown.
People complain about;
“running out of time”
“theres never enough time”
“I need more time”
For years people look for more time then just when they think they will have the time they crave suddenly they have time on their hands .............
Sitting on the plan having forgotten to pack my iPod, my entertainment system not working and of course due to that wonderful earthy law; there were actually a few movies I wanted to see! Fidgeting in my seat, checking my watch for the umpteenth time - I suddenly realised I had lost control of time. Each minute dragged by like an hour.
Now I know that every single one of you has gone through experiences of time distortion like this. Waiting in a queue at the bank the person in front of you hands over a bag of coins and they begin to count them. Time seems to stand still you feel as if you have been waiting for hours, look at your watch and only a few moments have gone by.
And times when you are having so much fun, those times you want to hold onto forever, just fly by. And when you have been driving on the motorway at speed when you pull off and slow down it feels as f you are crawling along so very slowly when you are actually moving at 40 mph.
Time cant change just your perception changes depending on the state you are in.
Within NLP one of the most basic skills we learn is how to control our state. One of the basic presuppositions being that we have being that we have all the resources within us.
As well as learning how the way that we perceive something depends on the frame in which we place it.
So how to get back control of time.
I reviewed my state. It wasn’t a useful one focussing on the entertainment system, moaning to myself about how there was nothing to do, how uncomfortable I was, tired, fed up ....................
The first thing I changed was my state. I thought about my destination. I was flying to Orlando to be a support trainer for Richard Bandler and John La Valle’s summer program. I also had some me time planned for retail therapy, relaxing in the sun and chilling with friends.
I made some plans thinking about what was to come. Ensuring my thoughts were full of all the fabulous things I wanted to do. Big bright colourful plans including all representational systems, sounds of music, voices; creating wonderful feelings of anticipation; fragrances and tastes of local delicacies all filled my mind.
OK now my state was different.
Then I focussed on other times I had flown and how amazed I was at just how quickly I arrived at my destination.
Feeling much more in control I decided to close my eyes for a moment and then we were coming in to land.
How time had flown.
Thursday, 28 May 2009
Health and Wellbeing
Just recently I’ve seen on the internet various postings from people looking for help for loved ones who have a chronic illness. Through my studies years ago I came across Bernie Siegel and his book Love Medicine and Miracles. Bernie was interested to discover why people who he thought would die (he was an oncologist) lived whilst others who he thought would live died.
There’s been a lot of press coverage over the past few months with Jade Goody dying from Cancer, Patrick Swayze and also Farah Fawcett too now also have terminal cancer.
What constitutes good health and how do we ensure that we are healthy and if we do get sick how do we heal ourselves.
Websters Dictionary defines health as “the condition of being sound in body, mind or spirit; especially the state of being free from physical disease.....”
Medical science has provided us with various cures for illnesses that at one time were incurable; and throughout the history of medical research we have also discovered factors such as the placebo effect. People being given what was probably basically sugar pills and being told that they were a super drug that would heal them and they heal. Against all odds their disease goes away.
Various alternative health practitioners suggest that to be healthy we need to maintain the harmony between the body and mind and between ourselves and the world that we inhabit. To create a total ecology may necessitate an adjustment in other parts of our lives to stay balanced.
Health and healing often involve addressing several levels of change with beliefs being one of the most important and influential levels. If someone doesn’t believe that they will heal or become well that person can become apathetic and not take full advantage of the resources that are available to them. Whilst as demonstrated with the placebo effect if a person believes that something will help them they activate many conscious processes that contribute to their wellness.
Bernie Siegel found that those people given the life challenging diagnosis who decided there was nothing for them to do (even though their cancer may have been treatable) died. Whereby those who decided that there were too many things they were yet to do in their lives, those who began to make plans about what there were to do next with their lives – lived.
There’s been a lot of press coverage over the past few months with Jade Goody dying from Cancer, Patrick Swayze and also Farah Fawcett too now also have terminal cancer.
What constitutes good health and how do we ensure that we are healthy and if we do get sick how do we heal ourselves.
Websters Dictionary defines health as “the condition of being sound in body, mind or spirit; especially the state of being free from physical disease.....”
Medical science has provided us with various cures for illnesses that at one time were incurable; and throughout the history of medical research we have also discovered factors such as the placebo effect. People being given what was probably basically sugar pills and being told that they were a super drug that would heal them and they heal. Against all odds their disease goes away.
Various alternative health practitioners suggest that to be healthy we need to maintain the harmony between the body and mind and between ourselves and the world that we inhabit. To create a total ecology may necessitate an adjustment in other parts of our lives to stay balanced.
Health and healing often involve addressing several levels of change with beliefs being one of the most important and influential levels. If someone doesn’t believe that they will heal or become well that person can become apathetic and not take full advantage of the resources that are available to them. Whilst as demonstrated with the placebo effect if a person believes that something will help them they activate many conscious processes that contribute to their wellness.
Bernie Siegel found that those people given the life challenging diagnosis who decided there was nothing for them to do (even though their cancer may have been treatable) died. Whereby those who decided that there were too many things they were yet to do in their lives, those who began to make plans about what there were to do next with their lives – lived.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
The Power to Influence
Over the years I have had a number of career moves although one main theme throughout has been my ability to “get on with” people. Today that would be classified as my being able to get into rapport with people.
Prior to setting up my own businesses I worked in Human Resources sector, in Golf Club Management and as a Police Officer in Londons Metropolitan Police Force. It was as a Police Officer working in Londons East End that I became aware of a skill that was vital to my success, and safety. When I realised that I had to become a master of influence no matter what it took!
This skill has transferred over into every aspect of my life and has been utilised in each career move and interaction. When I did my NLP Practitioner over 10 years ago I was able to indentify how I managed to influence and also to improve on those skills.
Some of you may now be thinking I knew NLP was manipulative.
Yet aren’t we trying to influence, manipulate, with each of our communications?
• When meeting people for the first time, your goal is to get them to like you isn’t it?
• When applying for a job don’t you want to get them to employ you over everyone else?
• As parents aren’t we teaching our children good values so that they won’t be encouraged by negative influences they may be exposed to?
• As Coaches and Practitioners isn’t the goal to help your client achieve their best?
The ability to influence is the key whether you are selling an idea to your friends or a project to one of your clients.
How do we improve our skills to influence?
I have noticed over the years that age old expression that we get what we focus on or in the words of Henry Ford “If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right”;is actually right.
So the first thing to do to improve your skills to influence is to believe that you can. Once you have this belief then you will find a way, and your actions will lead to your success.
You believed you could, then you planned how, you took action confident of the result that you would get. Maybe you didn’t get their straight away, but that was OK because you knew you would so you continued adjusting using the information you gleaned from those first mistakes until you succeeded.
The person who believes in themselves is most likely to take action, and is most likely to develop the skills needed to get the result that they want.
Prior to setting up my own businesses I worked in Human Resources sector, in Golf Club Management and as a Police Officer in Londons Metropolitan Police Force. It was as a Police Officer working in Londons East End that I became aware of a skill that was vital to my success, and safety. When I realised that I had to become a master of influence no matter what it took!
This skill has transferred over into every aspect of my life and has been utilised in each career move and interaction. When I did my NLP Practitioner over 10 years ago I was able to indentify how I managed to influence and also to improve on those skills.
Some of you may now be thinking I knew NLP was manipulative.
Yet aren’t we trying to influence, manipulate, with each of our communications?
• When meeting people for the first time, your goal is to get them to like you isn’t it?
• When applying for a job don’t you want to get them to employ you over everyone else?
• As parents aren’t we teaching our children good values so that they won’t be encouraged by negative influences they may be exposed to?
• As Coaches and Practitioners isn’t the goal to help your client achieve their best?
The ability to influence is the key whether you are selling an idea to your friends or a project to one of your clients.
How do we improve our skills to influence?
I have noticed over the years that age old expression that we get what we focus on or in the words of Henry Ford “If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right”;is actually right.
So the first thing to do to improve your skills to influence is to believe that you can. Once you have this belief then you will find a way, and your actions will lead to your success.
You believed you could, then you planned how, you took action confident of the result that you would get. Maybe you didn’t get their straight away, but that was OK because you knew you would so you continued adjusting using the information you gleaned from those first mistakes until you succeeded.
The person who believes in themselves is most likely to take action, and is most likely to develop the skills needed to get the result that they want.
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