Friday 6 February 2009

Is it x, or is it Y, or is it ME?


The question I am asked most frequently usually begins with, “I have a client with x and I have tried y and it didn’t work, I don’t know what to do now, I’ve tried the “name of technique” and the client is just stuck, what do you suggest my next move is!?”

Frequently, my first reply is based on something I learned during my Practitioner and Master Practitioner courses, Richard Bandler said: “there is no such thing as a resistant client”.

As NLP Practitioners we all know that our state drives our success. When you become stuck, consider checking that you have the most beneficial state to work with your client. Is your inner dialogue yelling “Its not working, its not working”, or something equally unhelpful. Are you making pictures of failed outcomes, or allowing yourself to sink into a feeling of despair or panic? Remember, “go there first, get your own state under control”.

Now, have you really heard what your client said?

Do you know what they want, what is their desired state, what will be different as a result of achieving this desired state?

Does your client understand what is being asked of them?

Whilst viewing sessions conducted by newly qualified practitioners I have witnessed a complete lack of understanding between Practitioner and client; when the practitioner says something like “I’m just going to anchor that for you”, are you surprised that your client wonders if they’re seeing your for therapy or about to embark on a cruise? Keep your explanations simple.

These are just a few pointers that may help, should you find yourself wondering, “what do I do now?”

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