I’ve been watching my grandchildren – well actually my grandson who is nearly 5 and how he gets the attention of those around him. Those of you who are parents will probably identify with this. First of all he says “mum ...........”, my daughter who also has a 14 months old is doing what a lot of mums do in relying on the older child to do for himself where he can. Second “MUM ......” this time louder, which may or may not get a response depending mainly on whether the baby needs attention. From here he shouts angrily and gets told off for shouting.
Its said the most powerful thing you can give a child is your attention and in todays society there is something about having someone focus their full attention on you. The next time you are talking to someone give them your full attention and notice the difference in their response.
Some people “listen” whilst waiting for their turn to speak, thinking about what they will say in response, but when you give your full attention to the other person its different. Its also much easier to notice their words, tonality, gestures, eye movements when your full attention is on the other person. I also find that by entering my communicating state, giving my full attention, connecting with the other person making the whole process of rapport, pacing and then leading the communication to a successful conclusion much easier.
When children have your full attention, they too are much easier to influence and far better behaved. Just taking a few minutes to give your full attention and really listen can give you so much more in return ......................